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How to tell if you are dating a corpse
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Movie Credit: Corpse Bride
Here are three ways to identify your own "dead man dating":
1. Emotionally unavailable:
These people love to go ahead and date whenever the wind blows or when they get bored. The problem with this is that they never go emotionally anywhere. They are void of viable emotions to seal the deal. However, they have no idea that they are so emotionally unequipped to deal with the great person who is you. If you choose to stay, think of you first and them second. Make it plain what it is you expect from the other person and don't waffle. Don't expect undying love to be professed in the first few months but it should not take them eighteen months to say those three words and show the "love" emotion to you.
Dating expert "Brother X" adds: Ladies, don't get caught up in the words "I love you" but rather the actions the man is showing you. Not all men are able to say the words upfront but a true man will shower you with the love you desire. Be careful of men who say "I love you" too soon - words can be ways to throw you off your axis. Stay alert.
2. Dead sex:
Sex with corpses - I think you get the idea. Men typically have this argument when it comes to females and their lethargic or non-existent movements. Ladies, it is not just enough to lay there and clutch your partner but be an active participant. Men, remember there is an actual person underneath you - not asphalt. Try and leave the unrelenting jackhammer-move to her request.
Dating expert "Brother X" adds: Listen to your partner's sounds and watch their reactions to the things you may do. Follow this advice and both of you will be thrilled in the end.
3. Grave diggers:
Grave digger mates are just looking to be buried in despair. They love drama. These mates come to you with an issue, you give them advice and still they make their original decision thereby digging their graves a little deeper. The issue can be anything from problems within your relationship to issues with their jobs. You need to figure out if dealing with someone who refuses to help themselves is worth your time or mental energy.
Opening your heart to anyone is hard enough but dealing with the three issues above makes everything that much more difficult. Dating a corpse-like person is not necessarily a deal breaker. The three issues listed are distinctly different and should be seen as such. However, I do suggest that if you are dating someone who is encompassing all three of these traits - "Run Forest Run". Communication is the best way to solve most problems and seek professional help when necessary - she/he may be worth it.
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