What are your teens chatting about online? 'Sexy boys please,' 'Looking for a hottie'

"Sexy boys please"; "Looking for a hottie", "Gotta get at a phatty" - lines read on a chat site.  The aforementioned lines were written respectively by a 14yr old, 12yr old and a 10yr old. 

Before you get really upset about reading those lines from those children, ask yourself what you've done to curb the mindsets of our youth.  We are so into making our adult lives perfect and comfortable, that we've forgotten to be our brother's keeper.  These children come from all ethnic backgrounds and are saying the exact same things - "I want attention". 

Unfortunately, the attention they seek is the attention they should be getting at home.  Instead, they take to chat rooms and start chatting to people who claim to be their own age or even older.  Make no mistake about it, teens are getting a hold of webcams and chat sites and advertising themselves like Super Wednesdays' ads for Macy's.  Some of you may say "But, Victory we already know this, it can't be that bad now, after all my teen knows better"?  Well, I see girls who stand up and twirl for the camera; I see girls who are wearing form fitted pajamas and focus on their developed bodies; and I see girls who are telling their parents' names, occupations and school information. And check this out - their parents are never in sight.  In fact, the teens laugh at their parents' verbal and futile computer attempts of locking them out of cyberspace.

  All of this, on a public site where anyone who signs up for free can watch internationally. 

Victory's suggestions:

- When you see a young girl on a site like this, it is natural to want to attack.  Instead, take her to the side (email or video-mail) and exercise love and compassion for a young lady who wants to feel included.  She may strike back but at least something was said.  I would try to engage the parent as well.  Remember even though this child is interacting on a site loaded with minors and adults, she is a child so exercise good judgment and caution.

- If you have a teenage daughter, monitor her whereabouts by joining the Internet world and browsing what other teens are saying and doing.  Sex, cyber-bullying and foul language are the major issues your teens fall victim to or are themselves predators.  It's better to fix any psychological issues now, while their young, then wait until they become dysfunctional angry women who become promiscuous bed-hoppers searching for love and acceptance.

- Be open to hearing another adult about your child's behavior.  Don't be so quick to negate the words of a concerned adult regarding the activities or dress code of your daughter.  After all, that person doesn't have to care! But since we all have to co-exist, we should lend a helping hand/ear when possible. 

- Be careful what examples you are setting.  Whether or not you sit your teenage daughter down and discuss the facts of dating, she is going to watch everything you do.  Question whether or not your dating example is one you would like your daughter to mimic.  Either face your possible home issues now with your child, or face having to become a grandparent way before your time.

Some parents recently came to me and thanked my involvement in their daughter's lives.  I want them to know that I am not taking over parenting of their children but rather a "cool adult who cares" position. 

Currently I've been dubbed, Mama tokbox on www.tokbox.com.  Feel free to listen to a few videos posted and comments made by yours truly. 

Just remember, teen doesn't start at 13 anymore.  Start getting online as long as your child has access to a computer!

As always, have fun and watch your children closer!

P.S.  Victory Waters is in no way singling out Tokbox as the only site in which teens are engaging in problematic behavior.  Tokbox happens to be a site in which Victory Waters is currently active as a chatter.