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So you want what's to the left but then you wake up one day and realize that what you have is more like.... the couple to the right!
Oh yeah, we are speaking about the "Down Low" or should it be really called "Low Down"?
We have been bombarded with books and "interviews" on the seemingly heterosexual males in our culture turning out to be closet homosexual males. This society loves to desensitize the seriousness of the issue with giving it catchy labels like "Down Low" or "Switch Hitters" but truth be told, the persons being lied to suffer more than just a bruised ego and it is clearly no laughing matter. Let me be clear, I am not just accusing men of being the villains in this saga - women are just as guilty.
Let me give you a scenario: Boy meets girl. Girl finds boy sexy. Girl thinks boy is sexy because boy talks about things girl is interested in like cooking, baking, fashion, The Starter Wife, Project Runway. Boy tells girl he is used to being called gay because of his sense of style. Boy insists that he is "metrosexual" and that his painted fingernails are just a reflection of his eclectic Kravitz/Rodman personality. Girl starts to question boy's immediate friends and family as to her gut feeling but girl is told she is overreacting. Boy tells her that he sees himself as Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal and would go through with a gay-pairing for one million dollars. SCREEEEEEECCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH! Put on the brakes!
Do you really think it took until the last sentence to see what's going on here? Yet we ladies choose to ignore the obvious for fear of spending another night alone in an otherwise "female 30 to male 1 ratio" city. Now the stats may be off, but just ask some males in Atlanta and they will overinflate the numbers to reflect why you need them more than they need you - even though you see them frequenting the Peachtree "dog" nightclub.
I propose that living in the bible belt is part of the reason for both women's need to connect to men who are clearly more interested in your brother than he is in you and men's need to deceive in order to avoid the scrutiny of bible thrashers and the homophobic.
But anytime a person is not being honest about who they are and what they are... this is not "Down Low" but "Low Down" behavior. Sure I can get into the AIDS epidemic but let's not forget your "regular" STDs along with general mental health.
Victory's suggestions:
-Pay attention to the obvious signs. Take an out-of-the-closet-male with you on your proposed "scouting" days/nights. Trust me, your "girlfriends" will be able to spot one of their own.
-If your man has had affairs with other men in the past or even thought about it...let's just say a leopard doesn't change its spots. And with this, don't fall for that bisexuality line unless you are completely ok with sharing your male with his fellow brethren.
-Any fingernail polish outside of clear (unless he is auditioning for a film/tv role or it is Halloween) is an indication you may be with a switch-hitter.
-My darlings, love yourself enough to realize that you are better alone then to be one of those women who the rest of us talk about as you pass by with your obviously "closet-man".
Have fun and happy flag-free dating!