Ask Michael Q&A... I am completely numb and cannot orgasm, and I do not know what to do?

November 10, 9:56 PMDenver Sex and Sensuality ExaminerMichael Schuessler

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'Isolation'

Michael,

I'm 33 yrs old and the last time that I can honestly say I had an orgasm (one I didn't fake) was.... I had to think about this one and I honestly don't remember. It's been years.

I am COMPLETELY numb in my supposed "sweet spot", and I can't figure out why. I get excited, I want to do the deed, but when it comes to it, I have no feeling at all.

I attribute what I'm going through to the stressors I presently have in my life. But when I say I have no feeling what so ever, that is EXACTLY what I mean. It's confusing to explain it; I do get sensation to get excited, but then when there is penetration, I loose ALL feeling. I haven't told my partner that I have been faking and he has no clue. I have excellent "muscle control" so he's not missing anything. But it's very frustrating for me and I don't know what to do.

-Simone-
The Islands

Simone,

 I get what you are saying, although I’m not sure if you are referring to your clitoris being numb or your G-spot? The clitoris being on the exterior, or the G-spot being on the interior so I’ll try to address both. But I must reiterate that I am not a doctor, so I’m going by what I have researched and hopefully can shine some light on things you may not have thought about.

Now you commented on a question I did earlier, about the same thing but you mentioned more of the fact of stresses and dealing with them.

If you are taking medications for your stress this may be a big factor. Some antidepressants will make it almost impossible to release. So if you are taking these types of medications do not be alarmed, when you feel better and are able to stop them the sensation will come back, or you might talk to your doctor and try taking a different type.

Other factors that can cause numbness within the vagina are... spermicidal creams and gels, you might look into changing the kind of birth control you are using, this may also help.
 
There also could be a nerve problem and something more serious; you would need to see a neurologist for that, if the numbness gets worse or spreads, I’d consider seeing a specialist because it may be something deeper that needs your attention.

Lets think positive and try some simpler means to get the juices flowing once again..

First take into consideration the fact, that many women cannot release from penetration alone.

Stimulating your clitoris at the same time your partner penetrates you may help you release when he penetrates you.  Or you could try the techniques within The Holy G-rail for the G-spot release. I go into great detail in the book, showing men how to find and release the G-spot by texture and feel, having your lover stimulate your G-spot with his fingers.

The most important thing is to Communicate with your partner tell him what is going on, this way he can help you work through this.  

Simone, you might want to get back to the basics of good old masturbation, take the pressure off of yourself, explore your body and try to find out what it is that starts the numbing and work around it. Find the trigger do this in the tub and when you are totally relaxed.  Get your head out of the experience and start all over again with yourself. You might just find that when you are relaxed and have no expectations the sensations and feelings may come back. Then with communication you can integrate your lover into the experience and guide him exactly where he needs to be. Let your fingers and his do the walking…

Just remember that when you expect something to happen, or even not to happen it will do just that. Sometimes it just takes a little re-programming and a different approach, to get a pre-conditioned response to diminish and go away.

I hope this helps just a little.

Smiles,
 -Michael Schuessler-
Changing The World One Orgasm ~ At A Time™

Michael Schuessler, author of the sex and sensuality classic, ‘The Holy G-rail', Please visit his web site, www.theholyg-rail.com to see all the different forms of Michaels works of creativity.

If you have any questions, in the sensual or sexual arena of life please E-mail me. (Use an alias if you'd like to keep your privacy).

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