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Ask Michael Q&A... I'm 31 married to a 59 year old who left me, how do I let the pain go?
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Over The Hill
Michael,
I was a translator in big Chinese company; he was country rock singer, inducted into Rockabilly Hall of Fame. We know each other online and he is very romantic, he wrote and sings love songs for me, one day I fall in love.
Then he came to China Beijing. I quit my job and start new life and new career with him in Beijing. After we live together 2 years, we get officially married. 2 years later (the beginning of 2009), I came with him back to Germany. He has suddenly stroke, after neck operation, he unexpectedly stayed in coma half month, all the day I stay by his side, hold his hands and talking with him insanely, even the doctor and nurse told me he is in deep sleep. Then he left me.
Everything happened too suddenly. I am 31, graduated from university with bachelor degree, romantic and not realistic. Maybe that 's the reason we came together under big social pressure. He is 59, but looking always like 40, long beautiful hair, good figure, and singing good, looking handsome and magic, and sweet, caring, warmhearted. I admire him like father, best lover, and best friend.
We live together 4 years, from the understanding it feels like we know each other more than ten years. Our love, always feels like honey moon time, he is too sweet, every time I think about the best man just left, I feel despaired and very lonely. I’m from a big Chinese family, they all worry about me and afraid of me doing something stupid.
I hope you understand, can you tell me how can I let the pain go easier? I hurt too much...
-Sue-
Beijing China
“This was translated from Chinese, It was left it pretty much the same so as not to change the inflections or meanings of the letter.”
Sue,
You are a young and very intelligent woman; do not let the insecurities of someone else get you down. There are many other fish in the sea and you have very many years left in your prime to find someone that really cares for you and respects you.
You my lady are the ‘Holy Grail’ and should be treated as such! He may have been nice and caring, yet he did leave you after you truly showed him compassion and love at the time he needed it most… so do not cry too many tears for him. You mentioned you admired him as a father… no father would want his little girl to feel the pain of separation and or divorcé.
Here is the reality… you got him through a very tough time, and in the long run his leaving may end up being more for your benefit than his. I know it does not seem that way right now.
Being a county rock star, going on tour for months at a time can be quiet trying and tempting I’m sure. Staying true to you at the same time [if that’s the reason he left] probably was too much for him to handle, and maybe his conscience got to him, after that act of unconditional love you showed him.
In addition, 28 years is a hug difference in age, I know; Love should have no bounds and it really does not in the earlier stages of this type of relationship, but as the years go by the age difference may become quite noticeable.
He will become retired soon and you will be coming into your own as far as your direction and professional career goes. You may feel the necessity to stay home with him rather than being able to complete your goals. In the end resentments may start to appear and the love and passions you share may start to become strained.
Another reality is the severe pain you will feel when you lose him in the latter years of your life.
Loving someone, experiencing the passions of life, and then growing old with them is a beautiful thing and the way it should be. Losing them many years too soon is in All-Ways a painful burden.
Sue, remember that you my lady in All-Ways deserve to drink from the wellspring of life as well as sharing that same well with another. You have a lot to give, think of the love you have experienced, and give yourself the same by allowing yourself to move on and love again.
You will find someone to share these most beautiful feelings and passions with once again, this I assure you…
Smiles,
-Michael Schuessler-
Changing The World One Orgasm ~ At A Time™
Michael Schuessler, author of the sex and sensuality classic, ‘The Holy G-rail', Please visit his web site, www.theholyg-rail.com to see all the different forms of Michaels works of creativity.
If you have any questions, in the sensual or sexual arena of life please E-mail me. (Use an alias if you'd like to keep your privacy).
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