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My parents have a lot of overdue bills, I’m worried: Help
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The other day I was on an internet forum and I read from one user; “My parents have a lot of overdue bills, I’m worried – HELP” I’m assuming this came from a teen, since no one under the age of 13 is allowed on this site; and it got me thinking. How much of what we as parents do, impacts the well being of our children.
As I’ve gotten older with my girls, I’ve learned that NOTHING escapes their attention. There are two different perspectives we are to share with our children when it comes to our household finances. The first is that we should not bother our children with details, especially if they are dark, because our children have enough to worry about without worrying about my financial woes. Based however on the original posting I read, our children know this information whether we try to keep that separate from them or not, and they worry about it even if we wish to protect them from those woes.
What’s the other perspective? I read a great article in this month’s issue of Personal Development Magazine. It was intitled; “Kids count: It’s never too early to ignite the entrepreneurial spirit in your children” by Sharon Lechter. This was an excellent article and based on its title you can see Ms. Lechter is a proponent of teaching our kids about everything financial. And what better place then in our own homes. She recommends that we share and don’t tell. Often when we tell our teens something it can go in one ear and out the other, but if we share a meaningful story with them, with the lesson embedded, they are more likely to retain that lesson.
Other things that Ms. Lechter recommends:
• Ask for their opinions
• Involve the children in bills / paying - let them pay the family bills for a month to learn about budgets etc.
• Have a debt discussion - show them a charge application (along with the small print) and discuss what is good and what is bad about credit.
• Compensate your children for results not time. It's easy to clean your room if you just throw everything in the closet - what about going the extra mile to put everything where it belongs.
• Allow your children to be in control of their own money.
• Encourage their idea’s
• Be a Mentor, not an enabler
• Teach your children the importance of giving back
• Allow your children to BE FAB
Do you remember when your kids wanted to earn their own money, and decided to put up a neighborhood lemonade stand? What did you do to encourage them? Did you send them out with a pitcher full of lemonade and some cups, or did you encourage them to diversify and bake a lemon cake and maybe some lemon custard or pudding to sell as well? Lechter recommends a prepaid debit card that can be added too as a good way to teach children on spending. Our teens get a really good feeling for the diffence between need and want very quickly if it’s their own money being spent. BE FAB stands for “Back straight, Eye contact, Firm handshake, Ask questions, and Be bold”. Self esteem and confidence is an issue with out teens and if we teach them BE FAB, that will go a long way to their personal success. So, if your kid is going to worry, at least let them worry with you, not for you.
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