Matthew Shepard 10 years later

October 14, 6:38 PMDC Metro Area Parenting ExaminerMichelle Flannigan

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Judy Shepard, center, waits to speak
at the National Equality March in
Washington, on Sunday, Oct. 11, 2009. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

My sister once told me that having a child is like wearing your heart outside of your body for the rest of your life. I did not have children at the time. I thought she was being melodramatic. Now I have two sons, and I have changed my mind. She wasn't exaggerating at all.

Ten years ago this week, 21-year-old Matthew Shepard was beaten to death in Laramie, Wyoming, because he was gay. His grandfather died within a month of the funeral. The mother of one of the murderers died a month after that (she froze to death walking home drunk from a bar).

Now that I am a mother, I know why. What our children do, and what is done TO them, affects us as much as it affects them. Matthew's murder broke the hearts of many, but most especially his parents. Yet today Matthew's mother Judy, 10 years and a lot of public speeches later, looks as strong as ever. After Matthew's death, Mrs. Shepard became an advocate of hate crime legislation, gay rights and gay awareness. Mrs. Shepard has ensured that her son did not die for nothing. His heart lives on, even if hers died 10 years ago.

Thank you, Mrs. Shepard, for trailblazing a path of tolerance for the nation's next generation of children - mine.