“Do you want green beans or carrots for dinner?” That is the premise of Love and Logic, by Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D. Give your child choices, enforce consequences, and never lose your cool. I gave it a try.
First, offer choices. “Noah, do you want to wear your sandals or your sneakers today?” I asked my toddler. He chose sandals. Then he helped me put them on. The Love and Logic theory is that if you offer a few choices, you put the decision-making into the hands of the child and take away the opportunity to protest. It seems to work in our house.
Second, enforce consequences. Do what you say you'll do, and be consistent. “Noah, if you run into the street, we will go home,” I said. This one was difficult at first. I had to lug a screaming tot home in my arms two or three times. But now I do not even have to worry about him edging off the sidewalk.
Next, never lose your temper. It tells your child that he or she has control over your emotions. It also takes the emphasis off of the consequence, and onto your own rage. I am still working on this.
I had so much luck with Love and Logic that I tried it on my husband. “Matt, would you like to do the dishes or give Noah a bath?” Guess what? He fell for it!
The book is filled with more suggestions and funny anecdotes of parents just like us. It is fairly short and enjoyable to read, too.
Book: Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years
Authors: Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D.
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