Looking at some of the most useless wiimote accessories

June 8, 8:33 PMLA Video Game ExaminerMarcel Hoang

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"Oh where to start, where to start..."

The Wii certainly has this reputation for having all sorts of useless 3rd party peripherals and shovelware. But what can you really find at some big box store like Target, where they don't necessarily cater to gamers, but want to make whatever quick buck they can get? Well now you can get an idea without leaving your chair!

For this little excursion, I went down to the Fry's Electronics in Fountain Valley. They have an entire wall stocked with Wii accessories that range from simple rechargeable batteries to an entire lightsaber tacked onto the end of the wiimote with prices ranging from sensible to ballsy daylight robbery.

First is the the air combat cradle. Now I'm not sure what game is supposed to pair together with this controller. The cradle seems to assume the nunchuk is as sophisticated as the wiimote, which isn't entirely true. It just has an accelerometer, so all you can get out of it as shakes and jerks, not smooth adjustments of height. Still, at $4.90, I suppose if your child was under 6, you could get away with this as a surprise gift.

Next is the Cooking Mama accessory pack. This puts a pan on your wiimote and turns your nunchuk into some kind of ill planned swiss army kitchen utensil with a fork, spoon, and a knife. The spatula looks like it'll add too much weight to your wiimote, but if you're going to pay $9.74 for it, I suppose you should be getting all the plastic you can get.

Speaking of making your wiimote more awesome and cumbersome, we now have the hilariously spelled Wii Lazer Sword. I'm not sure what's funnier: the fact that they think the Z will make it more marketable, or the fact that the sword's hilt is made to look like it's made of wood. So apperantly you're some kind of Medieval Jedi Knight. At the very least, this $14.99 monstrosity gives those damn nerf swords some competition in the toy swords we never asked for department.

Do you find yourself wondering, "How can I make Wii Music more awesome?" If you think adding a chuck of useless plastic and shelling out $19.74 will justify Wii Music, then more power to you! Do you want a saxophone? How about a violin? You can even get a trombone of all things! This package includes seven plastic renditions of classic musical instruments to get your Wii Music going.

The only mystery left is how four tennis racquet add ons is worth five dollars more at $24.75.

I'm sure most of you remember Link's Crossbow Training, which came with a gun peripheral which made your wiimote and nunchuk together look like a sweet submachine gun. But if you don't like submachine guns, you could always get the Wii Blaster, which turns your wiimote into a huge rifle. I'm sure it'll be the best $14.74 anyone would ever spend.

Now if you're looking for something with any amount of value, the wireless keyboard is probably your best bet. If you've had the Wii for any amount of time, you'd know that typing out messages via the on screen keyboard can take forever. Unfortunately, the price tag is pretty hefty at $49.99 and I'm pretty sure you can find something cheaper someplace else.

With Xbox 360's Project Natal on our horizons and PS3 jumping in on the motion based gaming scene, we might finally see less of these godforsaken plastic accessories being hawked onto us.