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Sex on the first date: yea or nay
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It is said that nice girls don’t put out on the first date but, is it a misconception that sex on the first date never leads to a real relationship? In Los Angeles there are those who say yes and there are those who say no.
Many L.A. women feel that waiting until the third or even fourth date is best. Even Charlotte from Sex and the City, had a third date rule, but even that didn’t guarantee that she would have a second date with a guy when she played “the game.”
“I say no,” says Sunni, 27. “If I like you then it’s worth the wait.”
Unlike her more conservative friend Charlotte, Samantha had a no-date rule. She was very eager to get into bed and had no problem saying so. Her idea of a relationship was having him out the door the next morning.
Some women don’t look for relationships when they meet a guy. They prefer to have fun and think of sex as a sport.
“No one-night-stand I’ve ever had has ever developed into a relationship. And I’m perfectly fine with that,” says Alexa, 29.
There are the occasional, one-nighters that turn into something more, but these may be few and far between.
From the male perspective some men say that if a guy is really interested in you then it doesn’t matter if you have sex on the first date.
“If he bails after she gives it up, then he probably just wasn’t interested,” says Sean, 26.
“My girlfriend had sex with me on the first date and we’ve been together for two years,” says Rick, 32.
A lot of times, women sleep with men on the first date because of insecurity. Rather than admit to herself that he’s not interested, she uses sex on the first date to rationalize his lack of interest as a result of her giving it up on the first date.
Other women do it because they think that it will make a guy like her more if she gives him what he wants.
If you don’t want to have sex with him, but he puts the pressure on to hit the sheets on the first date there are a few things you can do to find out how it will end.
You can find out his intentions as far as a relationship. Ask him what he’s looking for. If he tells you, “I’m not really looking for a long-term thing,” or something to that effect, you know that putting out won’t end the way you want, and you’d be wasting your time going out with him again.
You can tell him that you do enjoy the physical nature of a relationship and you’d like to share that with him when you get to know each other better. If he bails because you won’t have sex with him then you know exactly what kind of person you’re dealing with and know it’s better that you move on anyway.
You can tell him straight forward, “I don’t do that on the first date.” If his reaction is less than desirable, again, you know what kind of person you’re dealing with and you can get on with your life and find someone who is not just after your booty.
If you are one of the ones who put out on the first date and it resulted in a long-term relationship, consider yourself a lucky one.
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