Love Lessons: Where do we spend our first Thanksgiving together as a married couple?

November 8, 7:36 PMCharlotte Love and Marriage ExaminerCheryl Williams

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Thanksgiving
freedigitalphotos.net/photographer: Bill Longshaw

My husband and I are newlyweds. With Thanksgiving coming up, we have a problem. Our families live about 2 hours away from us , and both families want us to spend the day with them. Our families both live in the same town, so we could see both of them on Thanksgiving. This is causing us a lot of stress, for my husband wants to spend the day with his family and I want to spend the day with my family. It is causing arguments between us and also causing stress between us and our families. Can you help us?

Stressed Over the Holiday

Dear Stressed Over the Holiday,

Your problem is common with newlyweds. The fact is that you cannot please everyone all of the time. Someone is bound to disappointed in this situation.

What you need to remember is that you and your husband need to remain unified. Do not let the desires of your families come between you. This is your first Thanksgiving as a married couple and should be a good memory for you…not one filled with stress. Here are some suggestions that might help you:

Have dinner at both places. This would require each family eating at a different times, but they may be willing to do that if they really want you to eat with them.

Have dinner at one family’s home and dessert at the other family’s home.

Have Thanksgiving dinner with one family and promise to have Christmas dinner with the other family.

Spend your first Thanksgiving together…just the two of you. Take the next day to visit family.
 

Make Thanksgiving dinner at your house and invite everyone to your home.

All of the above are options to consider. Just remember not to let your family cause you undue stress on your marriage. You may have to firmly tell your families that you are going to do the best you can to spend time with both, but that you do not want to feel pressured in anyway.  Let them know that your first priority is to have a wonderful first Thanksgiving together as husband and wife.