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Wedding dresses for women who don’t like wedding dresses
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J.Crew long embossed-cotton Aubrey dress
Upon becoming engaged three-and-a-half years ago, I immediately began thinking about the style of wedding dress I wanted to wear. Since I am most positively not one of the dreaming-about-weddings-since-I-was-a-little-girl kind of woman, I was totally unprepared for what was to come.
The wedding dresses I initially tried on at a few local bridal shops were, on the whole, dreadful. Stiff and uncomfortable with exaggerated proportions, weighed down with extensive beading and detailing, and as expensive as a semester in graduate school (which, frankly, sounded more appealing to me than a princess-y dress I’d wear only once). I already knew what I wanted: something simple yet unique that made me feel beautiful, but still made me feel like myself. I also wanted something reasonably comfortable that I’d be able to dance in, because the thought of not being able to dance at my own wedding was downright depressing.
Part of the problem with the whole gown-selection process was, interestingly, the bridal shops themselves. Salespeople in general are notorious for not giving you the brutal, honest truth about how something looks on you; now multiply that by a thousand when you’re searching for a wedding dress. Dare to consider something slightly untraditional or avant-garde, like a tea length cocktail-style dress or a swath of bright color, and I swear their eyes roll back into their heads. I quickly became resistant to dealing with them, as I was not about to be swayed by someone I didn’t even know telling me what I was “supposed” to want to wear for my own wedding.
I then did what many modern brides do; I turned to the Internet. Fortunately, many special occasion dress designers like Bill Levkoff, Jordan, and Alfred Angelo feature their entire current collections online, along with countless color options for each style. In the end, I chose a strapless full length bridesmaid’s dress, chose a chic ivory satin fabric with a dark red sash, and placed the order at a local bridal shop (tip: they’re much easier to deal with if you already know what you want!).
No one knew my dress came from a bridesmaid’s collection until I told them, and I received more than a few compliments on the style. The best part was that it cost me about a third of what I would have paid for a traditional dress, and as a frugal bride knows, some money saved can mean a splurge somewhere else – on an exotic honeymoon, perhaps?
Other options include buying something off the rack at a boutique, a department store, or a consignment shop (just be sure that the fabric is sturdy and high quality so that it’s flattering in your photos). Buy something simple and classic and personalize it with jewelry, chic shoes, or flowers. Some might say a dress from a department store isn’t unique or special. To that I say: it’s as unique and special as you make it!
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