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U-Haul lesbians

Q: What does a lesbian bring on the second date?

A: A U-Haul

 

If phrases like “I would like to meet a woman for a long term relationship” or “I’m looking for a soul mate” pass through your head regularly, like whenever an attractive woman shows an interest in you, then you might have U-Haul tendencies. If you have been on 2-3 dates and you are fantasizing about your future together (or planning it), then you definitely have U-Haul tendencies. It is the urge to merge. It is normal, but it is not an approach that allows people to get to know one another prior to living together. Getting to know someone beyond a superficial level takes time. Long heartfelt conversations into the early twilight hours are a nice start, but you aren’t going to cover the length and breadth of a person’s psyche in a few weeks or months, unless they are a very simple, two dimensional individual. 

 

 

The obvious risk in ‘dating’ is that the person may find someone they like more than you, but changing the word to ‘girlfriend’ does not alleviate that risk. If you are seriously considering being in a long term relationship, then there is no harm in assessing and evaluating for several months (or years). There is no need to spend 24/7 together or to ‘play house’ overnight. If you intend to build a foundation as a couple, it should be worth the investment of time. That time investment should not be packed into one month.

 

The biggest hazard with moving in together too quickly is that you don't give yourself the opportunity to get to know one other's quirks and habits beforehand.  When you are spending a night or two each week sleeping together, you might not mind that your lover has a tendency to steal the covers.  You may even find it endearing initially, but it loses its charm quickly. What if she’s a neat freak and you’re messy? What if she has a bohemian attitude towards bills and you are paranoid about your credit?  What if she wants kids and you aren't the 'mom' type?

 

I am not immune. I am guilty of a U-Haul moment with an international twist. I understand being caught up in the throes of emotional ecstasy that go along with the early stages of a romance. It is addictive, with all those endorphins flowing. Common sense and pragmatism are not on the front burner. Typically people put their best foot forward on the initial dates. Most people are on their best behavior for a month or more when seeing someone new. That is a logical strategy when trying to make a good impression. If you regale your date with tales of your stint in the state psych ward, they might vanish permanently on the pretense of a bathroom break. 

 

People are far more appreciative, cooperative and accommodating in the early stages of a relationship. Unless someone is totally lacking in social niceties, this farce can be maintained for weeks or months. Being attached at the hip will quickly become stifling for one, or both, parties. Too much of a good thing devalues that thing until it isn’t good anymore. If a person starts feeling suffocated, they may need a state, or a hemisphere, of ‘space’ by the time they mention it to you. Living together does not make a relationship stable.  It is easier to evaluate the potential longevity of the relationship, and to change your mind (if necessary), when you aren’t occupying the same bed. Much of the drama that ensues within lesbian relationships and, subsequent, lesbian break ups could be avoided by slowing the pace. 

 

You know you have a long term relationship when you look at your girlfriend and realize “wow, you’ve been around a long time.” If you feel appreciative of that, then, congratulations, you are one of the lucky people in a happy long term relationship. Until then, enjoy the search, savor the seduction process, and let another couple rent that U-Haul.