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Salt Lake City Parenting Examiner

'Pirate Parenting' book review

March 25, 1:57 PMSalt Lake City Parenting ExaminerRachael Lever
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Tired of the same old parenting advice? Give "Guide to Pirate Parenting" by Tim Bete a try and you'll be laughing your little wooden legs off.

Just surfing their website is an adventure. You can read an excerpt, learn new pirate rhymes and songs, and "name yer pirate minivian". Here is the table of contents to give you an idea of what you'll be reading:

 
Part 1: Introduction
How I Met Cap’n Billy and Why You Should Raise Your Children to Be Pirates
 
Part 2: Cap’n Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall’s Guide to Pirate Parenting
Baby Pirates—Mapping Out Your Child’s Future
 
Belly Timber—Feeding Your Pirate
 
Sleeping Like a Seadog and Other Nocturnal Issues
 
Quelling Mutinies—Disciplining Your Pirate
 
Scurvy and Hook Injuries—Pirate Health and Safety
 
Your Pirate's First Ship—How to Convert Your Minivan into a Pirate Schooner
 
As Your Pirate Gets Older (The Teen Years and Beyond)
 
Here is a little rhyme for you:
 
Hush, Little Pirate (Hush, Little Baby)
Hush, little pirate, don’t say a word.
Captain’s gonna buy you a cutlass sword.
And if that cutlass sword won’t slice,
Captain’s gonna give you a rope to splice.
And if that hemp rope gets all frayed,
Captain’ll take you on a pirate raid.
And if that pirate raid is foiled,
Captain’s gonna give you cod-liver oil.
And if that oil makes you upchuck,
Captain’s gonna let the crew run amok.
And when you run, if you fall down,
Don’t go overboard or you’ll drown.
 
Parenting just doesn't get much better than that.
 
For more info: Buy the book at amazon or at www.pirateparenting.com

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