Why Do We Love Washed Up Celebrities?

June 14, 5:10 PMBoston TV ExaminerMichael Langston Moore

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    MC Hammer's Show "Hammertime" Debuts Tonight on A&E

Tonight at 10 pm on A&E, Stanley Burrell--better known as MC Hammer--returns to the public eye in his own reality series, aptly titled "Hammertime."

The story of MC Hammer has been well documented.  Known for hit singles like "Too Legit to Quit," his well coordinated dance moves, and his flashy, baggy parachute pants, MC Hammer was on top of the world in the early 1990's before becoming bankrupt just a handful of years afterward.

But now Hammer is back with a new reality program.  But he's certainly not the only washed up celebrity who has resurfaced with a new television show.  From Scott Baio to Flavor Flav, why do viewers love to see "has beens" return to the lime light?

We know the cycle and how it works in this country.  Americans will build you up to superstar status, and then proceed to tear you down to a level far worse than where you started.  But after that, what happens?  Do we have a desire to see these bruised and battered celebrities resurface?  Do we as an audience have an interesting in seeing old celebrities prevail? 

Or, in fact, is it the opposite?

From "I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!" to "Celebrity Fit Club" to "Dancing with the Stars" to "Celebrity Apprentice," the caliber of the "stars" chosen for these reality shows is certainly questionable.  From Lou Diamond Phillips to Dustin Diamond, there's no doubt that the "celebrities" being hand-picked for these programs are not fresh off any Oscar or Emmy wins.

No, America likes to see "quasi-celebrities"--ones who may have been famous and lived the American Dream but are now at the mercy of the same TV viewers who created their celebrity. 

As much as we "love" celebrities, we despise them even more.  We cannot stand how much money they make or the special treatment they receive.  Americans want their celebrities flawed, which is why we consume the latest "National Enquirer" at the local grocery store or watch intently to see how Dr. Drew will deal with Daniel Baldwin's drug addiction.

In this voyeuristic age of television, Americans even find ways to make celebrities out of people who never had any talent to begin with.  From Paris Hilton to Tiffany "New York" Pollard, the desire to elevate vapid, charmless caricatures to celebrity status says a lot about what Americans will (and sadly won't) watch on the small screen.

And in culture that settles for C-list actors who squabble, fight, and fornicate, can a low-key show such as "Hammertime" survive?  The New York Daily News wrote a review of the program, giving it two stars and claiming that it was "boring."  Here's an excerpt:

Stanley Burrell, best known as rapper MC Hammer, has the undeniable "it" factor.

He's charismatic. He's got a great back story that includes a huge success and squandered fortunes. And, by all accounts, he's got a stable family.

From a television standpoint, that last part, well, stinks.

Will "Hammertime" be watched by as many people who tuned into "Rock of Love with Brett Michaels," "My Fair Brady," or "The Surreal Life?"

Don't count on it.