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In defense of 'Twilight Moms' and a good book
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So I got called out the other day. You know, slammed by a stranger on a national website. You see, I wrote a silly little blog about silly moms who love a silly bunch of books about vampires. Karen, another blogger from DC, called me part of the "ewie phenomenon known as Twilight Moms." I'm not exactly sure what "ewie" means, but I'm assuming it isn't very nice. Hmmm. No biggie, I guess.
What I really mind is the way she went about bashing lots of other Twilight moms and the Twilight books in general. It kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
Twilight does not condone violence
One of the reasons Karen wrote her blog is because she is rightfully concerned about teen dating violence. I am worried about it, too- it doesn't get enough attention. It's a big problem, something I learned during the seven years I answered phones at a domestic violence and suicide hotline. Karen has some good information about it.
The problem is that she is telling people that Twilight not only condones violence in relationships, it is actually grooming girls to want and accept this kind of dating. She wants us to know what "your public middle-school librarians are recommending to your little girls", implying everyone is blindly pushing children into abuse. That's totally unfair and not particularly helpful.
She offers a long list of quotes from the book that don't always fit, and are always taken out of context. But if you actually read the entire series, you understand that Edward and Bella are two teenagers learning how to be in a relationship. They experience jealousy of each other, uncertainty, and anger, as we all do. But Edward honestly and earnestly encourages her to be with her friends, talk to a former love interest, even choose to be with someone else if that is what she wants.
Together they explore what a healthy relationship should look like. He is afraid he will hurt her, because he is, afterall, a vampire, but he never does. He doesn't lose control, doesn't hit her, never bites her. Is it a normal relationship? No, dating a supernatural creature is weird. Is it domestic violence? No.
Give girls more credit.
I think one of the most bothersome parts of Karen's attack on Twilight is how little credit she gives to the girls who read the books. She believes the books glamorize death, even making girls want to die for love. When I asked if the books made death look romantic, my teen babysitter first looked at me kind of funny. She pointed out that vampires aren't real, and kids are not dumb enough to think they are. Plus, it doesn't make sense, she explained, since Bella does not want to die, she wants eternal life, and kids understand the difference. Edward won't even consider making Bella a vampire until after they have a wedding, and even then he doesn't want to do it. If anything, it is glamorizing marriage and commitment.
Hmm. Smart girl.
Stop bashing silly moms. Really.
Ok, now here is the part that matters most to me: say what you want about the book, but why add the extra little insult to moms who like the book? I mean, my original blog was poking fun at some of the extremes that a few Twilight Moms have gone to, but they are no different from the stuff other fans do.
But let's be nice, here. Karen calls "Twilight Moms" "that alarmingly large, obsessive group of (unfulfilled?) women." Unfulfilled? Seriously? That's just being mean for no reason. Does she think football fans that like to root for a team are "unfulfilled"? How about moms in a scrapbooking club? Twilight Moms are just enjoying a sense of community, permission to be silly for a little while, and sharing a frivolous bit of fun that they know is not real. Being a mom is hard work, give us a break and just leave us alone about "the strange obsessions of grown women."
I will give Karen one thing. She says there is a lot of "lusting and drooling over 22-year old Robert Pattinson, who stars as vampire hero Edward Cullen." She has us on that one- there is a whole lot of lusting and drooling going on. Oh well.
Like I said, this isn't serious stuff, just silly moms and silly books. But how about we just leave the Twilight Moms alone. Sometimes being a mom bites. Let them have their fun.
Want to read more?
My original blog about Twilight Moms? Click here!
Check out the Twilight Gift Guide? Click here!
Take a Twilight trip to Forks, WA for the holidays? Click here!
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