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Are braces sexy?
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This is a question I’ve been mulling over ever since I got the old rail road tracks slapped onto my teeth a couple of months ago. Yes, at the tender age of forty-something I have to wear braces. My dentist had been telling me for three years that my bite was not correct. At my last visit, trying to conceal his exasperation, he gave me a choice, braces or years of painful costly dental work. Hmmmmm, what to choose, vanity or teeth? It was a foregone conclusion, without teeth there’d be no vanity! I finally made the plunge and now I fit in very well at my nieces’ and nephews’ birthday parties. The other children and I exchange braces horror stories inevitably coming to the conclusion that these things were created as modern day torture devices. The fact that my orthodontist is French doesn’t make them any sexier when I’m dining out and discover that I have dark green chunks of broccoli wedged deeply in the hardware.
What is “sexy” anyway? If you ask my gorgeous sister who has a gorgeous husband and three gorgeous children, she would say that beauty comes from within. She feels that we as women are far too obsessed with our looks. I guess she’s right but, do you need sexiness to attract the person to stick around long enough to see the beauty within? I mean, isn’t the bee attracted to the flower because it’s colorful?
We each have our own definition of what is sexy. I think it’s sexy when my boyfriend covers my feet after they’ve slipped out from under the blanket. I guess in that respect I’m easy, yet I have the tendency to mix things up into an emotional stew when it comes to relationships. My perspective on the subject is somewhat skewed. My ex-husband lusted after every sexy woman that crossed his path. When we were out, I would follow his leering, eye popping, jaw dropping stares and always find that the recipient of his ogles were all beautiful women that had floated into his orbit that night. Needless to say, this kind of activity did little for my self-esteem.
I’ve noticed that lately there are several commercials that glorify this kind of behavior. Is it disrespect or is it normal for a man to leer at another woman while out on a date? Is she supposed to laugh it off or reward the man with a Klondike bar when he doesn’t stare? If she calls him on it, is she a jealous bitch? Where is the line anyway? While on one hand it’s perfectly normal and acceptable to notice an attractive person, to go back for seconds or thirds when you’re with someone else is not. I’m not man-bashing on this, there are plenty of women who are guilty of this same practice. For men and women alike, it’s simply a matter of respect or lack thereof.
Women are running to cosmetic surgeons in droves and they are going at younger ages. While I personally have no problem with someone wanting to improve themselves, I wonder why the numbers are so high. Are we trying to mimic those unattainable, air-brushed magazine covers? Is it the opposite sex imposing this on us or is it our own insecurities that drive us to the scalpel? If my sister’s theory is correct, the beauty we have within is what we are, inside and out. If the opposite is true a woman who makes herself beautiful on the outside becomes content and empowered which, in turn, makes her beautiful within. Although, that’s not often the case, look at the woman who has had over 50 plastic surgeries in her quest of becoming Barbie. Something within her will not let her rest until she accomplishes this impossible dream. With each surgery she becomes dissatisfied with something else about herself. She is grasping for something beyond the cosmetic realm. Is that what we do? Do we use these procedures as a remedy for something we are lacking on the inside?
Back to the original question, “Are braces sexy?” My boyfriend thinks so (Do I still call him a “boy” friend when we’re both far beyond being a boy and a girl?). He thinks I’m sexy when I’m in my sweats, my hair looks like something a rat could call home and my breath rivals that of my pooch. He thinks braces are sexy for one simple reason, they are on me. Did I just prove my sister’s theory? Damn! She’s always right!
So where do you draw the line? You draw the line at a level where you feel respected. Set standards for yourself and never compromise on those standards. If you’re standards are blatantly disregarded, I say, drop-kick that person out the door. I mean this for men and women alike! If you’re unhappy with something on the outside, look inside first, that’s where the answer lies. I know, it’s easier said than done. Take it at your own pace and be kind to yourself. Use all your resources, family, friends, therapists, anywhere you can get honest feedback.
What is sexy? There is the obvious short skirt and long legs sexy, but, that is short- lived at best, then there is the strong, self-confident sexy, that sexy kind of sexy lasts a lifetime!
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