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Courting: Is it dead?
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Over the weekend I got a phone call from a guy that I’ve known for years. He said that he was calling to check in with me and see how I’ve been doing. As the small talk commenced, he managed to blame me for us not talking very often. Apparently I had done “another” disappearing act on him. This immediately annoyed me. The reason I was annoyed was because the last time that I spoke with him, he told me that he was heading out of town and would give me a call when he got back in town. That was at least two months ago. But it was totally my fault that we haven’t spoken. Then he goes on to ask when we would be getting together to hang out. I asked him when would he want to do something and he asks what I’m doing that night.
Now I have a policy about dropping everything just to hang out with someone. I don’t do it. If a guy wants to go out with me, he should respect my time and give me at last a day notice or he should at least ask me out with specific plans in mind. I told him no for that night. Well then he went on to list off the following day and the one following that one. I wasn't sure about my schedule for the days at the beginning of the week but I was annoyed (again) at him just going down the week throwing potential days at me. I didn't feel like he was being serious about us hanging out. I said, “So you have absolutely nothing on your schedule right now?” He laughed and said that I should call him when I was free. Then we hung up.
I doubt he will be getting a call from me any time soon. The main reason why we stopped talking the first time was because I realized that he wasn’t the type of guy I could date long term so I walked away. He is a nice guy so when he calls I answer but our last conversation lets me know that he will now go into the voicemail file. His vague "Let's get together" invitation really wasn't appealing to me. If he really wanted us to hang out, I would expect him to have some sort of activity suggestion even if it was just to watch a movie at his house.
What is wrong with the dating game right now? When did it become ok to not court a woman any more? Is it because guys are lazy? Is it because women don’t expect it any more?
According to dictionary.com, courting is: to try to gain the love or affections of, especially to marry. Now we may not be attempting to marry everyone we date, but shouldn’t a man be willing to court a woman he’s interested in dating? Shouldn’t a woman expect to be courted? In my opinion, courting is the customer service of dating. It’s when both parties go out of their way to make sure that the other party is being treated with respect during the dating process. It seems like we are so accustomed to bad customer service in our business transactions that we have begun to accept that same level of service in our dating transactions.
Can this be changed or is courting dead? I wonder. I sure hope not.
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