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The Pistons picked up their first loss of the preseason on Tuesday, an 86-64 drubbing at the hands of the San Antonio Spurs. While many readers might look at the box score and blame the loss on Chauncey Billups’ ankle injury or Detroit’s paltry 27.8 shooting percentage, the real reason for the poor outing was Walter Herrmann’s absence. The 29-year-old Argentinian missed his fourth straight game with sore ribs.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Walter Herrmann, allow me to introduce the hero via video:
The secret to Herrmann’s success is his hair -- which really isn’t a secret since it is impossible to hide such beauty. Tuesday’s outing proved that a Herrmann-less Pistons squad has a Samson-like effect on the team’s performance.
This is a rallying cry for the Pistons to not let Herrmann rot away at the end of the bench all season. While Herrmann does a fine job abiding to the NBA’s dress policy as one of the most stylish Pistons, he can help the team on the court as well.
Herrmann has plenty more to offer than becoming the next Human Victory Cigar. He’s got the range to knock down three-pointers and is the best naked dunker in the Association:
Don’t giggle or blow off this plea as nonsense. After all, this is the fan base that once had the all-powerful afro of Ben Wallace trolling the paint -- Detroiters know the power of a nice hairdo.
It’s time for the Pistons to let their hair down.