'I love you truly, truly dear...'

September 7, 2:22 PMOrlando Senior ExaminerTom Holbrook

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'Jean & Frank Ruggerio celebrate wedding anniversary.'

“I Love You Truly…. Truly Dear…” so go the words to one of the most popular ‘Parlor Songs’ of the late 1800s and early 1900s, written by Carrie Jacobs-Bonds, and sung at more weddings and/or anniversaries than you can shake a stick at.  Such was the sentiment this past month when two dear friends and neighbors of mine, Frank and Jean Ruggerio, celebrated their 8th wedding anniversary at the Nancy Lopez Legacy Restaurant.  It was a surprise party instigated by Frank for his bride.
    The party was organized by Linda, the office manager where Frank is employed, and those friends in attendance were Manny & Elena; Ron & Linda; Ed & Cathy; John & Sally; Bob & Sally; Tom & Judy; Rich & Pam; Jan; Lee & Pat; Kent & Sarah; and Ray and Gerry.  Several other friends were invited but were out of town and unable to attend. Needless to say Lopez Legacy did a great job handling the affair with delicious food and surroundings and Jean was wonderfully surprised.

'Jan,Sally,Bob,Sarah,Kent,Pat & Lee enjoy the occasion.'

Some of you reading this might ask, “Big deal… the 8th anniversary, so what?  The 25th or 50th I can see… but the 8th… c’mon?”  Well, sir or madam, if you think like that then, possibly, your marriage has already reached the critical implosion stage.  Those of us in The Villages have seen many years go past, and those that lie ahead are far fewer than those we’ve already experienced. Many are fortunate to have their original life’s partner with them, while others have lost theirs to divorce, accident or illness.  Still others, like Frank & Jean, found each other late in life after losing their former mates.  For them love is fresh and exciting.  Folks, love should never be taken for granted or allowed to grow stale and tasteless.

'Gerry, Ray, Pam, Ron, Cathy, Rich, Ed, and Linda happy to be there.'

In his book, ‘The Myth of the Greener Grass,’ J. Allan Peterson wrote about a woman who had gone to her pastor full of hatred toward her husband.  She said, “I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even.  Before I divorce him I want to hurt him as much as he has me.” 

    Her pastor suggested an ingenious plan.  “Go home and for a month act as if you really loved your husband.  Tell him how much he means to you.  Praise him for every decent trait.  Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible.  Spare no efforts to please him and to enjoy him.  Make him believe you love him, and after you’ve convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb.  Tell him that you’re getting a divorce.  That will really hurt him.”

    The wife said, “Beautiful, beautiful.  Will he ever be surprised,” and left the office with revenge in her eyes. The following month the wife awoke each morning excited about how she was going to fool him with acts of love and kindness.  Listening to him when he spoke and doing little things for him to lead him to believe she loved him.  She was giddy thinking about the ways she would fool him.

Two months went by and the pastor hadn’t heard from the woman so he called her.  He asked, “Are you ready now to go through with the  divorce?” 

    “Divorce!” she exclaimed.  “Never!  I discovered I really do love him.”  Author Peterson tells us “Her actions had changed her feelings.  Motion resulted in emotion.  The ability to love is established not so much by fervent promise but often repeated deeds.” 

    Each day we husbands and wives should seek ways to exhibit our love and help keep it fresh and real, just as Frank did for Jean.  Don’t let a day go by without showing your spouse, in some unexpected way, that you ‘really do’ love them.  Boy, will they be surprised.