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Americans have world's shortest attention span

January 13, 8:47 AMSeattle Political Satire ExaminerC. Y. Bermant
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As if the crap economy wasn't bad enough, new figures from the Bureau of Mental Statistics showed that the United States has the lowest average attention span of any developed country. 

Ronald Reagan once described America as "a bright shining city on a hill." Today, it has evolved into a land that is moves in sync with each bright, shiny object.

"There are a lot of reasons why this happened but most of them have something to do with the Internet," said the agency's director, Dr. Mark Rambeau. "People can't concentrate for more than a short time, before the next distraction comes along. "

Rambeau declined to explain the metrics that governed the measurement, nor did he reveal the US' cumulative average.

"If I were to explain it to you  there is no way that you will be able to pay attention long enough to understand anything," he said, adding that

Rambeau noted that the Bush administration failed, "because no one on any level could stay focused for long enough to get anything done." He expressed hope for the new Obama administration, but cautions "the average American "stops in the middle of things before they are competed."

However, other sources

 

This is satire: But if you have gotten this far you've done better than a lot of people.

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