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Tool Academy 2, episode 9: Parents Weekend
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And so two become one: at the start of this episode, the la
dies move in with their tools in the big house. The news of their girlfriend’s impending arrival prods the three remaining tools to clean like their lives depend on it. Once the tools’ room is presentable, the three girls arrive. Much celebration ensues as the couples relish in their togetherness. Terry and Nicole take extra special advantage of their new, ahem, nighttime proximity. But hey, the other two couples have each gotten dates in the conjugal visit room.
The next day, the couples are summoned one-by-one to the therapy room, where Trina and their respective parents (or stand in relatives) greet them. This week, the lesson is on family values First in the room are Stew and Amanda. Amanda’s mom and step-dad look just like you would imagine them, and Stew’s parents are—
Yuppies?!?
So, um, how exactly did all-that-is-Stew happen?
Well, it all started with a very expensive private school education. Then, Stew’s father threatened to kick Stew out of the house if he didn’t get a job. To pre-empt his own eviction, Stew went ahead and set up an extended slumber party in Amanda’s parent’s house. Finally, Amanda’s step-dad bemoans that Stew is such a mooch: He smokes my cigarettes and drinks my beer, man!
In short, we have no clue how suburbia spawned Stew, but his own parents are actually more disgusted with him than Amanda’s folks. With the unemployment issue raised, but still unresolved, Trina moves on to Huge Problem #2: safe sex. When Trina bluntly spells out Stew and Amanda’s contraception issues, the four soon-to-be-grandparents’ jaws drop. Amanda’s mom tells her: I don’t want to raise another baby and you couldn’t do it without our help. Stew’s parents look like they were hit by buses. Stew and Amanda squirm, but Stew reveals in a solo interview that condoms and other contraceptives are just so darn expensive when you’re not contributing to the household income. Maybe we should start a charity: I think most people would gleefully donate to Stew and Amanda’s continued non-procreation.
Next, Terry and Nicole sit down with their families. Terry’s step-dad and mom are present, and Nicole’s mom and younger brother have come out to the Academy. Nicole’s mom’s big complaint is that after three years she barely knows Terry and feels he doesn’t respect them as a family. Terry sucks it up and spills all about his infidelity issues. Nicole’s mom looks like she wants to crush rocks with her teeth. Trina asks what Terry’s parents feel about all this. Terry’s step-dad tells him it’s time to be an adult; Terry wholeheartedly agrees. Nicole’s mom is still not too pleased—Terry says she made him feel about an inch tall with shame—but we get the sense that there’s a very tiny window for progress.
Lastly, Tyler and Shea enter the therapy room. Tyler’s mom and dad and Shea’s mom and cousin are waiting for them. Shea brings up her initial concern at the start of this season that Tyler wasn’t in love with her anymore. Tyler swears he has changed and is completely committed to their relationship. Then the—perhaps more serious issue—of name calling is raised. In short, Tyler had several names for Shea that I can’t type here. Shea’s mom wants to throttle Tyler, and Tyler’s mom reminds her son that he was raised better than that, especially since both Tyler’s parents loved Shea from the moment they met her and think she’s fantastic. Methinks Tyler has much atoning to do.
Later on, it’s time for the couples to become piggy parents! This year, everyone has to catch a piglet because the couples are having twins. Nicole’s a little grossed out by the idea of touching a pig, but eventually she comes around. Once they’ve wrangled their children, the couples have to bathe, diaper, and dress their piggies. Luckily, no one has a psychotic break this year (last season, one of the tools missed the memo that the pigs are only pretend children).
Once all the pigs are safely in their carriers, all of the families are invited to a baby shower in the backyard where they find a buffet, a bar, and bundles of baby games just like at a real baby showers. The groups break into their respective families. Stew shares his plan for winning the money and continuing to not work, but Amanda’s parents share their plan for shaking up the status quo once Stew and Amanda are back home. Again, the subject of safe sex is breached, but also again, Stew and Amanda fail to take matters seriously. Over in the Nicole/Terry camp, we realize Nicole’s brother is either mute or the editors hate him and cut out any of his speech. Terry and Nicole’s mom tacitly agree to start over with much more effort on Terry’s part. Finally, Tyler apologizes to Shea’s mom for the way he treated her daughter. Tyler’s and Shea’s mom hug and make up.
The couples bid the parents farewell and take their children up to their room where they find piggy cribs for their new additions. Tyler sings to his twins, and Terry says that for the night while these pigs are his kids, he’s totally okay with poo! Stew and Amanda put their pigs on the bed with them, but realize that was a bad idea when one of the piglets takes the opportunity to go potty. Stew and Amanda are soooooo not ready to be parents.
On the final morning of pig-parenting, the couples head down to the kitchen for breakfast where they have:
1) Hashbrowns,
2) eggs,
3) bacon,
4) sausage.
Breakfast was unusually subdued.
Ultimately, Jordan tells the couples to say good-bye to their piglets. Stew is amazed by how much work it took to care for the pigs and thinks maybe he and Amanda need to make sure pretend doesn’t quickly become reality. The other couples are sad to see their kids go, but agree they won’t be ready for that responsibility for a few more years.
The couples lounge around the pool before elimination. Once again, Stew and the prize money are the topic of conversation. Amanda tries to defend him, but the other couples are unconvinced that Stew isn’t still around just because of the money. In the pre-elimination conference with Trina, both Shea and Nicole think Stew should go home because of a gross lack of maturity on both his and Amanda’s parts. Amanda tries to explain away Stew’s designs on the prize money, but Trina calls her on it.
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In the elimination room, Trina—in a gorgeous dress—addresses each tool one-by-one. Then, Jordan calls Stew down. Terry and Tyler freak, and Tyler even starts to sob, sure he’s going home. But—no! Stew is sent packing. Trina tells him he has no one to blame for his underachievement except himself. Outside, Amanda and Stew hug, kiss, and get in the limo together. Nicole’s sound-byte sums it up: they’ve got a lot of growing up to do, but ultimately you kinda, sorta hope they stay together (but maybe Stew should get a vasectomy--just to be safe).
And finally…next week…what we’ve all been waiting for…the Tool Academy Finale! Only one tool can graduate and walk away with the $100,000!
Because they're so darn cute, click through the slideshow for more piggy pics.
Read about Charm's long-awaited elimination last week here. All images from VH1.
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All articles by Brenna Williams copyrighted. For permission to reproduce any article in part or whole, email dallas.sr.examiner@gmail.com.
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