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Expat Momma: An American abroad trying to represent
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A more talented American practicing yoga (Casey Rodgers / AP Images for Nintendo)
In an effort to improve my Chinese and make some friends in my community, I signed up to take a local yoga class. I have practiced yoga in America before, so there wasn't much that surprised me about the class as a whole (until we started massaging our sore muscles during the cool down with bamboo poles-I've never done that in a yoga class before). But there were a couple of things about the set-up that I didn't like from the start. First of all, a whole wall was lined with mirrors. Second, another wall was also lined with mirrors.
When I entered the class, I did the normal panning of my classmates to size them up, typical of my female species, and I am thinking "I am so glad I am not fat like Asians think all Americans are". But then class started and as I am doing my bending and twisting, I look in the mirror and realize that, especially compared to my Asian classmates, I AM a fat American (and with 180 degree mirrors, there is no hiding any ounce, or pound, of fat).
I think I am delusional about my weight. I saw once on the TV show, "The Biggest Loser", that even after people lose a lot of weight, they still think like they are a fat person. For example, they still go to the fat section of a store to buy clothes, or they still are worried about whether or not they will fit in a seat on the plane, etc. Well, I'm opposite of that. For some reason, I think I am still the gangly girl that got teased for being too thin in High School. When I go to buy clothes, I find all the cute tiny clothes and then I am surprised when they don't fit me. Sometimes I think that I can fit in little tiny kids chairs and then I am shocked at how poor the craftsmanship is when it breaks! True story.
Looking around at the mirrors, I have another uncomfortable feeling: I think I am being watched. This seems to happen a lot here. In fact, since I've been in Taiwan I feel a little like I am a lab rat. People watch me and my kids wherever we go. They watch what we buy, how we do our hair, where we go to school, and who we talk to. Strangers on the street know where I live, where my husband works, and how many children I have because I am the only foreigner in the area, and word spreads quickly in this friendly country. And since they meet very few Americans, what I do and say often, however inaccurate of an impression it is, gives them ideas that I am what all Americans are like.
In some ways I am ok with being the posterfamily for America. I'd like to give the Taiwanese another option besides the "typical" foreigner that they meet here: young early 20-somethings who have just come here for a short time to earn a quick buck and experience the world. And, unfortunately, "experiencing the world" sometimes leads to a "what happens in Taiwan, stays in Taiwan" mentality. They know that everything they say and do in this strange culture where everyone speaks a foreign language will most likely never reach home to their family, friends, and coworkers, and their disregard for cultural norms often leave the natives with a bitter taste in their mouth whenever they say the word "foreigner".
So, even though I usually try to be on my best behavior to protect America's image, I must say that I wasn't representin' last night at yoga. Unfortunately for all of the athletic Americans, I am the slowest runner, the unbendiest bender, and the furthest from touching my toes than any other person I know. So, my apologies to America. I'm sorry that I made the small part of Taiwan's population who were at (or stopped to watch because of the strange blonde in the class) think that Americans are both fat AND can't touch their toes. But, as I said my goodbyes to my new classmates in Chinese and headed home to my husband and children, I think that they let the "fat" part slide.
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