Inauguration Tourist Guide (Part 1)

January 15, 11:48 AMDC Transportation ExaminerKatherine M. Hill

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Welcome to the nation's capital tourists and out of town guests! Despite my pleas for area residents to avoid you and my penchant for mowing you down on the platform (the fanny pack made you a target) last summer, I'm happy to have you here.

You are no doubt here for a momentous event in history and the experience of a lifetime. I want to politely step in and make your vacation here a little bit better. First, for the sake of vanity (my own) let's discuss the best way to navigate Metro. (In part 2 we'll look at locations near Metro stops.)

1) Stay to the right on escalators and stairs if you're taking a leisurely pace. The left is reserved for running up or down by  commuters in a hurry.  I know, this is perhaps the snottiest request to ask. (And void on January 20 given the large crowds.) But even in my most pleasant state I'm liable to mutter under my breath as I "pass" (mow past you, using my bookbag as leverage) you. But I'm not alone! It seems mean, but commuters have Metro, Amtrak and MARC trains to catch, cabs to hail and cold bus stops to reach. It's the few seconds wasted jostling through the crowd that catch a connection and whether it's a 9-to-5 desk or a cocktail to catch...we don't want to be late. (I almost missed a very important train, as noted in this post.) Some residents have the gall to stand to the left. I usually leave them for the worse without guilt. For additional reference, visit Defective Yeti's 2003 post "DC Notepad: Movin' On Up"

2) Gather your family together for only one line when you purchase your Metro ticket/SmartTrip Card. ...This is kind of weird for me, because I've never experienced this phenomenon in another city. (Occassionally, shockingly, I've seen other cities accept a rider standing on the left of the escalator.) I understand that there are many members of your party but it turns out you can buy multiple fares at one time. Moreover, and I know I'm just being cruel, but it would be better if only one machine was tied up with the angst and frustration of working the machine. I promise to help you use the machine and explain the idiosyncracies of getting around, so long as your group keeps to one machine. While you're buying your fare, add money to your SmartTrip Card if you parked at the Metro station. You can't leave the lot without your card.

3) Leave your pets at home. If I were riding January 20 and saw a leashed pet I'd grab the leash, steal your pet, and turn it into a shelter. There is NO REASON TO BRING YOUR PET TO THE INAUGURATION, never mind my extreme opposition to leashed animals on the Metro. Your beloved pet is sweet, docile and friendly: I believe you. But it doesn't need to be at the Inauguration and it doesn't need to go to the Smithsonian or the bar. Take your pet for a walk. That's great! But don't use transit to get there.

4) If you find that you're on the wrong side of the platform, let's say you parked at Shady Grove but are heading to Grovesnor, you can get to the opposite platform without leaving the station. Got on the train and at the wrong station? The time it takes to get to the right station won't cost you money. Switching platforms within the same station won't cost you money. Making mistakes won't penalize you or your fare, which may be the biggest perk WMATA offers compared to transit in other cities. Yay!

5) DO NOT EAT OR DRINK. You can get arrested. I am serious. A woman was arrested in 2004 for eating a candy bar. No food or drink means no fun size candy bars or Starbucks cups. I found clever ways to hide my morning can of Coca-Cola or Pop Tart riding MTA (where the bus aisles fill with Big Mac wrappers despite its no food rule) but would never dare to do that on Metro.

6) Let everyone inside the train trying to exit out before entering the car. This is common sense for transit everywhere and sadly broken by locals. It's unfair to hold you to a higher standard, but imagine if everyone out of town was nicer and less aggressive than the rest of the passengers? Ahhhh paradise. Allowing passengers out is the only way to get in. I promise you'll enter the car before it leaves if you do this. Plus you have a better chance of getting a seat.

7) Step back from the platform while you wait and while the trains arrive. The platform has flashing lights and textured tiles but you're making me nervous. Metro doesn't have a history of riders getting pushed off the platform in the face of large crowds or aggressive passengers, but seriously, I don't like you so close. Please? Just a few steps backward into the crowd, I promise I'll still let you on the train before I board.

Bonus Credit

Residents tend to stand up and head to the doors as the train slows to their stop.
We aren't wearing fanny packs (this includes the designer options; when I see one I add it to my grand tally). We are wearing messenger bags, back packs and (gulp) Ugs and clogs. DC residents, we're just like you!

Ultimately all points come to one issue: Metro riders are in a hurry and would love it if you'd step to the side and get out of the way. Oops.

Special Report: Inauguration Day 2009

• Neighborhood Inaugural Ball project
• Examiner.com Inauguration Roundup
• Examiner Coverage: Inauguration Day 2009
• The Obama Administration at a glance
• Elections 2008 Examiner Coverage