Criticism: Much Ado About "Nothing"

August 28, 2:42 PMNetworking ExaminerMark Stelzner

Previous

Comment Print Email RSS Subscribe

Subscribe

Get alerts when there is a new article from the Networking Examiner. Read Examiner.com's terms of use.

Email Address   Include other special offers from Examiner.com Terms of Use

Source: Mark Mumford

We’ve all heard the old adage - “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. This is put into our minds at an early age and reinforced in situation after situation, year after year. And like any muscle that goes unused, the development and proper application of constructive criticism naturally atrophies over time.

It should come as no surprise when as an untrained young adult you struggle to offer feedback without fatally wounding the other party. Or perhaps you are crushed the first time a seemingly harsh word is attributed to you and your work. This builds to a crescendo as you enter the professional workforce, with most employees ill-equipped to overcome a fundamental lack of education on how failure and feedback can serve as one of the most powerful learning tools available.

I believe this is a very serious issue in today’s workplace and have witnessed countless instances where learning opportunities were lost to the death spiral of critique. In my mind, this raises three core questions that warrant further discussion and exploration:

1. Why are we afraid to say anything negative? At hand here is the “rule” that you can’t criticize unless you have an alternative solution. But in many situations, you know something is wrong without the benefit of having a counterproposal. So, its much easier to quietly acquiesce than insert yourself into the line of fire. Moreover, most people will go to great lengths to avoid direct conflict, so they resort to snide offline remarks, eye rolling and back-room politics to spread their displeasure.
2. Why are we afraid to hear anything negative? Try as we might to believe that “it’s just business”, criticism is extremely personal. When you pour yourself into a project, a deal, a concept or a strategy, it naturally makes you feel defensive about your work and vulnerable to attack. Moreover, most of us do not have the benefit of working in a safe culture where failure is encouraged. When applied to today’s economic environment, it’s not uncommon to feel the weight of your firm’s success riding on your shoulders. These issues, when combined with the fact that people don’t know how to criticize constructively, form a recipe for a heightened level of sensitivity and fear.
3. Why do we confuse “constructive criticism” with a free-for-all bashing? As mentioned at the outset, we’re simply not trained to criticize appropriately. How often have you been in a meeting or on a conference call and heard the phrase, “Don’t take this personally, but…”, followed by ten minutes of verbal disembowelment? Many people vent, attack and eviscerate under the guise of constructive criticism. And let’s be honest, bashing is extremely easy, so it’s quite comfortable for many to sit back and poke others in the eye. We also tend to model the behavior that’s rewarded, so if the Big Boss is a world class bruiser, there’s nothing to prevent the underlings from following suit.

So how should one criticize properly? I have some ideas, but this is where you come in. If you were to teach or model the appropriate behavior, what would you say? Is there a training module or technique you’d recommend? Do you have any nightmare scenarios you’ve witnessed? You’re a bright crowd, so share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section below and let’s keep the (constructive) conversation going.