This week's sports widow conundrum (from his perspective): what to do when his team loses

 

"Whenever my favorite teams lose, my girlfriend tries to cheer me up. She tells me they’ll do better next time, and that I shouldn’t care so much anyway. It only makes things worse. How do I get her to understand what I’m going through?" Greg, Manayunk

Unfortunately, many of us just don’t get it when you guys get all doom and gloom over a game.   I myself have been guilty of trying to cheer up my spouse after a big loss on more than one occasion.   You know, following him around saying things like, “It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game;” or loudly humming to the tune of “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow” as he paces back and forth, muttering to himself – that sort of thing.

If we seem a bit insensitive, it can all be summed up with these three words: we don’t understand. We don’t understand when you yell at the television. We don’t understand when you fall into a three-day depression over a missed field goal. We don’t understand when you lock yourself in the bedroom and vow not to come out until next season.   

The good news is that no one ever said men and women have to understand each other. However, in this case, understanding each other may not be so difficult after all. To solve this conundrum, let’s try a simple role reversal exercise.

Here is a situation that I am sure you are familiar with, Greg.

·         She starts to cry. You have no idea why she is crying. She begins to ramble on about not being able to fit into her jeans and feeling overwhelmed and not getting enough help around the house. 

By now, you probably know exactly what to do here. You do not try to be helpful and fix the situation by suggesting that she purchase a gym membership or wake up an hour earlier to clean the house before work. No, you listen to the problem, brew some hot tea, and toss in the occasional, “you poor thing,” or “that sounds awful,” for effect. 

Now let’s take a look at the same situation, only reversed for our female readers.

·         He starts to complain that his life is ruined. You have no idea why he is complaining that his life is ruined. He begins to ramble on about how the Eagles need a new coaching staff and that the officials have obviously never had eye exams and that he is never, ever watching sports again. 

It’s the same principal, ladies. He is not asking for you to fix the problem by arranging for a new coaching staff, a trip to Hour Eyes, and a better outcome next time.  All he really wants is for someone to listen.

Hope this helps, Greg.  And remember, there's always next game...just kidding. 

Do you have a question like Greg’s? Send an email to phillysportswidowexaminer@gmail.com and you could be featured in next week’s “sports widow conundrum”.