Dr. Harvey Karp knows how to keep babies and toddlers calm and happy.
You've done it all; the baby just ate, had a changed diaper, is properly burped and in your arms. So why all the crying? The old paradigm is that 'colic' and babies crying for a few hours a day are natural.
Enter sanity and the new paradigm of pediatric medicine. Dr. Harvey Karp is a pediatrician, assistant professor at Pediatrics UCLA and child development specialist for the last 30 years. He has written two breakthrough books on understanding infant's cries and, why your toddler is so frustrated and uncooperative.
Newborns have a lot to adjust to in a distressing world of stimulation once born. By studying ancient history and other cultures, Dr. Karp discovered that infants are immediately calmed by mimicking the sounds and movements of the womb time. When in utero a baby is tightly confined and hearing certain sounds and experiencing a unique set of sensations. Parents can learn to create those conditions and trigger a 'calming reflex.' The calming reflex is natural to fetuses to keep them and their mothers safe during pregnancy. After birth using his techniques will almost instantly stop the crying, create calm and may add up to 2 hours of sleep time for the baby a day.
Swaddling, ever so gently swinging and making a loud "shhhhhhhh" sound, along with a couple of other tips, he says, will quiet even the fussiest of babies. But these steps must be done correctly. In Dr. Karp's own words: "It is intuitive to want to calm down your baby. By tapping into these ancient methods a mothers natural intuition can be expressed."
Similarly Dr. Karp realized that parents need to get on the wavelength of their toddlers too and learn to speak their special language. He says caretakers need to be in an state of empathy and use short repetitive phrases reflecting the child's emotional state. Trying to be reasonable, loving and logical is not going to cut it with an emotional 2 year old. They have not yet developed thinking skills. At that stage children act more like pre-historic man so parents need to communicate on a much simpler primitive level. Trying to talk to toddlers as if they are little adults just frustrates them more because we are not 'getting it.'
'Toddler-ese' is a language their little minds can grasp in the heat of confusing emotional states. Karp recommends learning not to make the mistake of ignoring the learning curve your little one is experiencing as they process the task of gaining control of their brain and emotions. Using funny exaggerated physical expressions, commenting on good behavior, setting firm and fair limits and showing respect by listening to what they are trying to say will go a lot further than other methods.
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