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The Importance of Girlfriends
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I am one of those busy moms who can go for months without seeing her girlfriends, and it’s not by choice. With a full-time telecommuting job, grad school, two kids and freelance work, I am lucky to have time for myself.
However, over the years, I have realized that this so-called “time for myself” also means incorporating time with my close friends. After all, they really have a special way of making me feel both supported and refreshed, and they can tell me things (good and bad) that I may not otherwise hear or be willing to hear from anyone else.
Even if I can’t see “the girls” on a regular basis, there are some traditions we have that even at once per year make me feel that I am taking better care of “me.” Over the years, I have been blessed by getting to meet some terrific women whom I am humbled that they let me be their friend (even when they see their names in print).
Amelia has been my sounding board for umpteen problems and always has wisdom to share, often passed down advice from her Brazilian heritage, laced with thought-provoking advice given to her by her mother, father and grandmother. I trust her implicitly with even the most sensitive of information. She is my CIA.
My friend Sheila, with whom I went to undergrad, has patiently understood my sense of humor and like me, has embarked on motherhood in our mid 30s. She has seen me in my youth and still claims me now that I am old, and our daughters are the cutest playmates.
Margherita has taught me a few lessons in Southern and Italian tradition and helped me become a more creative cook. She was there for me during my earliest days with my youngest child, when I struggled to both ask for help and find help, and she was always there. I look forward to being a dedicated “auntie” to her new baby girl, and I am ever appreciative at her openness with me.
My friend Jessica always reserves the Jane Austenesque chick-flicks for a “date” with me and she helped me maintain my sense of humor and sanity during dating “the second time around.” She nearly single-handedly convinced me to go out with my now husband when I was ready to throw in the towel on blind dates.
My amazing friend Rosita, mother-of-three, impressive academic and Ph.D., business owner and multi-tasker, has supported my aspirations and inspired me to take on grad school as a “late bloomer.” Because of her lead, I may just reach for a doctorate.
These are only a few of the special fem souls that have touched me over the past years, but they are a formidable band of women who have helped me defog during post-partum depression, feel a little sexier in plus-size jeans, prodded me to get long-overdue pedicures, sat with me during bad news, helped me with my children and trusted me with their “stuff,” too.
Once a year, most of try to get together on a girls-only vacation to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. We bring along the kids, which may not sound like a “vacation” to most, but it seems to work well. As the children play together, we marvel at how these future girlfriends are not yet a total mess from our parenting, all the while catching up with each other after a long year of busy lives and drama.
When summer is over, we blog, email and call whenever possible, but the beauty of the true band of girlfriends is even when you don’t have time to drop a line, if you completely forget their birthdays or even have a big misunderstanding, they all just simply love you and you are definitely the better for it.
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Photo for my article courtesy of Amanda Elkins Photography.
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