Death, near-death and Michael Jackson

June 26, 6:22 PMCharlotte Episcopal ExaminerAngela Boatright-Spencer

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"Fantasy Tree" by Marcus 74id.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The tragic, sudden death of Pop singer Michael Jackson on June 25, 2009, forces us to think about the reality of the end of our days.   Michael was a larger-than-life figure, with larger-than-most-talent,  larger-than-most-financial concerns, and, as he has said in interviews, larger-than-most personal torments, but he had no more control over the number of his days than we do.  Death really is a great equalizer. We all are, as the psalms say, like grass that withers.

Our culture does much to ignore the reality and inevitability of death, and as a result, we don't always savor our lives as we could; we squander --"kill"-- time better used for good, waste precious moments when we could be loving each other in senseless arguments and unnecessary strife.  Nothing teaches us to value life more than unexpected death. 

The Great Litany in our Prayer Book  (p. 149) includes a petition that we not "die suddenly and unprepared," but most of us do just that.  We may have a priest come to visit if we have a long-standing or terminal illness, or hospice care may be provided to ease our transition, but generally, death remains a word that is whispered or, more often, not even spoken.  We hide it from our children, for fear of frightening them, telling them that a person who is dead is "sleeping," refusing to give them this very essential knowledge. Death is simply a part of life; not to speak of it to children is a little like not explaining what happens when we get a cut, or skin our knee, or what will happen on the first day of school.  It would be cruel to suddenly load your child into the car and drop him or her off without talking about what school is, what being away from home feels like and all the rest.  Yet we set them up for just this when we don't speak normally about the reality of death. 

The natural world is an easy teacher about death.  Any child who has picked a beautiful flower and put it in a glass of water soon learns that, no matter how much we may want something to keep on living, it will eventually die.  The passing seasons, too, are lessons about mini-deaths; the lush green of trees in spring and summer gives way to the vibrant display of color in fall, then the leaves drop away and we have the barrenness of winter.  But somehow, seeds that fell along with the leaves suddenly become little shoots of life when spring returns.  And life begins again. That is the way life works; that is the way it has always worked.  Our bodies will die; somewhere, a new baby is born. Our spirits continue in a different existence, and we will see those who have died again -- but not here on earth. 

Only God, and God's infinite love, is both unchanging and eternal. It is that infinite love of God that is the focus of our lives and our death.  We try to love as God loves while we are here on earth.  We try not to be insensitive to the needs of others.  We acknowledge that people cannot love as perfectly as God does, but we do our best.  In death, we go from a world of limited, human love, to the continual, 24/7, unbounded love- in- capital letters of God. 

 "I go to prepare a place for you," Jesus assures us, "I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am you may be also."  (John 14:4)

Life is changed, not ended.  Religion teaches us that in death our body stops functioning, but the part that we identify as our self, "is changed, not ended" (from the Preface at the Burial of the Dead, Book of Common Prayer, p. 382).  Individuals who were "clinically dead" but were resuscitated have described the experience, giving us some evidence of the still-mysterious process of death.   In cardiac arrest, which is what happened to Michael Jackson, the heart stops beating, the lungs cease activity, and the brain shuts down.  At this point, we are clinically dead. About 20% of the people who were in that state but survived have recounted moving on to the next stage.  This is not simply a teaching of faith; science bears this out as well.   Dr. Bruce Greyson of the U. of Virginia Medical School, has compiled a list of 15 commonly reported features in his overview of the near-death experience.  

These 15 features, which have come to define near-death experiences both among the academic community and in the popular imagination, include ineffability, hearing the news of one’s death, overwhelming feelings of peace, hearing a noise, seeing a tunnel, a sensation of being out of the body, meeting nonphysical beings, a “Being of Light,” a life review, a border or point of no return, coming back to life, telling others about the experience, effects on lives, new views of death, and corroboration of knowledge not acquired through normal perception.

 What is death like?  Information from combined sources yields this basic information:

• Many individuals who have had near death experiences (NDEs) report having a floating, euphoric feeling, and an out-of-body episode during which they saw their body being treated, heard conversations, etc.  They did not report feeling any pain in the process of dying, rather a sensation of being pulled into a tunnel.
• Individuals reported being met by a friend or relative already deceased. In some cases, the person they saw was not familiar but was later identified in family photographs the person had not seen previous to the NDE.
• They meet a "being of light" who clearly loves them and understands them completely.  Christians identify this being as Jesus or God the Father, the "friend and not a stranger," described in the service for the Burial of the Dead (BCP, p....._)
• Scenes from their entire life were shown to them, as if in a slide show.  This is the "my life flashed before my eyes" phenomenon.  The Being is present during this review, whose purpose is to show us how our actions affected others, and how we might be more loving.  

Does death hurt? Dr. Greyson's article suggests that death itself isn't painful. The cause of death might be.

Should we be afraid? Fear is one way humans respond to the unknown, and despite stories of NDEs, death still is an unknown to us who are alive.  Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has outlined five emotional stages we experience when faced with death and grieving: denial (refusal to believe that death is imminent), anger (with self, God, family, doctors, anyone and everyone), bargaining (trying to buy time from God, as in, "spare me and I'll go to church every Sunday"), depression (listlessness, separation from others as we begin to separate from our life), and acceptance (a generally peaceful state when one is  reconciled to death).

 In one of the many replays of interviews on the news, Michael Jackson told a reporter that life was about love...that it all is about love.  He was right, and may his soul, and all the souls of the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. 

Be present, O merciful God, and protect us, so that we who are wearied by the changes and chances of this life may rest in your eternal changelessness; through Jesus Christ our Lord.  AMEN. 

For more on NDEs, please check out the daily reports of  Near Death Experiences Examiner.