There is no magic bullet or one-size method for managing introversion, says workplace expert Jennifer Kahnweiler, author of The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength
Yet in today’s noisy business world, introverts can learn to build on their quiet strength and succeed. The goal, Kahnweiler emphasizes, is not changing your personality or natural work style, but embracing and expanding who you are. For leaders, managers, and careerists alike, she spells out the “4 P’s” for introverted professionals—preparation, presence, push, and practice—and offers hundreds of concrete can-do tips. Her top 10:
1. Have a game plan
Rather than wing it on the people part of your job, have a game plan. Prepare for high-stakes meetings and conversations—anticipating questions and rehearsing your responses. Fact is, just as you strategize for key projects and tasks, you need to plan ahead for connecting with people—and taking regular timeouts to recharge your batteries.
2. Communicate early and often
It’s easy for introverts to be out of sight—and out of mind. So, take the initiative in sharing information—communicating early and often with higher-ups, team members, and project stakeholders. Don’t wait to be asked for updates and reports or news about your accomplishments. Find out what people need to feel confident in you and provide it to them—ahead of time.
3. Match the medium to the message
Resist the temptation to hide behind e-mail. It may appear to be the easiest or safest channel, but it’s not always the right one. For every exchange, match the medium to the message—determining if texting, e-mail, phone, or face-to-face is best. Texting and e-mail may be great for quick exchanges, but they miss the mark in critical high-touch areas, including developing relationships and delivering difficult news.
4. Use social networking to set the stage
Technology is a great tool for preparing to meet people. Use social networking Web sites such as Facebook and Twitter to set the stage for connecting with others in person at meetings and events. You can introduce yourself, find common ground, and send helpful “news you can use” items—all in a low-key
yet friendly way.
5. Assert yourself
Assertiveness gets a bum rap. Often confused with aggressiveness, it is simply being open, honest, and direct—asking for what you need and want. If you fail to assert yourself at work, you risk losing career-making opportunities and suffering the side effects of pent-up anger, resentment, and disappointment.
6. Get your voice in the room
Without delay, speak up in meetings and conference calls. Try to make your first comment no more than five minutes into the session. Even a quick question, remark, or paraphrase will do. You need to be seen as a contributor, but the longer you wait, the harder it becomes.
7. Stand up to “talkers”
Don’t be afraid to take on the talkers in group or one-on-one settings. There are several ways to stand up and get a word in edgewise. One simple, sure-fire strategy: hold up your hand, give the stop or timeout signal, and calmly announce, “I’d like to say something.”
8. Ask great questions
There is power in the questions you ask. At work, asking great questions can mean figuring out what’s really important to organizational and individual success—including yours. Two invaluable questions for your boss: “What keeps you up at night?” and “How will you measure success?”
9. Value humor
“A smile is the shortest distance between two people,” mused entertainer Victor Borge. As a reserved, inner-focused contributor, you can overcome perceptions of being standoffish or too serious by smiling, laughing, and having fun now and then. You need not “yuk it up”—just be good-humored.
10. Be a storyteller
Stories put oomph into ideas and help engage and connect people. Make storytelling a part of your own style—weaving real-life anecdotes and examples into talks and presentations. You may not be a natural-born storyteller, but you can learn to spot great stories—and spin a good yarn.
Finally, practice, practice, practice. Learning new skills and behaviors may be uncomfortable at first, but with conscious repetition and refinement, you can manage your introversion—and rise and shine!
Additional Resources:
Jennifer Kahnweiler's About You
Networking tips for introverts
Comments
Dear Matt,
Thanks it was a good one.
Regards
Umesh
Hi Matt,
it is a good tool to overtake a potential limitation for a successfull career.
Well done!
Hi Matt,
This was an excellent article for it gave simple actions for introverts as well as the standard advice. Bravo and well done.
I consult and train technical organizations that attract many introverts. Highly qualified yet not always valued since our society favors extroverts. Your article is valuable to both -- to work better together. I will tweet your link out to Twitter.
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach
Many thanks!
Great Article, thanks Matt!
Thanks everyone. Like Kate, I am finding that extroverts do want to figure out how to reach their introverted colleagues and family members. Umesh and Vittoria - Let me know which tools you find most useful.
Good tips. As an INFJ, I have always found it frustrating that people who bellow the most (and often did the least work), seemed to get all of the glory.
I'm an inrovert; however, when I see the opportunity to speak out to do something different than my job, I do.
Very encouraging words for the introvert. I guess it is a matter of understanding your strengths and utilizing them in the networking scenario. We don't need to be the "life of the party" or the ''center of attention" in order to get what we need from the networking experience. We just need to know how to use the tools we already have. You can find some other good tips for the introvert from Paul Aaron Travis at:
http://relationshipcapital.co/op/?utm_src=bl
Yes, I believe an introvert can be equally successful at networking as the extrovert. The introvert just has a completely different skill set or style to work with. Once the introvert recognizes his or her strengths they can then be put into practice. The soft skills and introspective talents that the introvert is likely to project can be equally as appealing to others. Sometimes even refreshing in comparison to the loud or blunt extrovert style. Easy does it. Another free source of helpful information can be found at: http://relationshipcapital.co/op/?utm_src=
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