Faith & Begorrah, Sodom & Gomorrah

Courtesy of the International Food Safety Network (iFSN) at Kansas State University.

 

Today is St. Patrick’s Day. Let’s all wear something green and throw up.

But first, a little faith and begorrah history. Faith and begorrah is a common two-phrase combination, with “faith” here meaning an assertion that fully translates to “by my (Christian) faith,” and begorrah an aberration of God (Gor) because the faithful were reluctant to say “God” and evolving to “Be Gor” (By God), then evolving into “Begorrah.”

With that out of the way, I’ll tell you that normally these phony holidays just irk me to no end. St. Patrick’s Day, though, has a bit of fun tossed in, as we watch the descendants of the Irish wolf down green beer, brown beer, clear beer, … hell, any beer, and then fumble, stumble, and tumble (and often rumble) all the way home. And with YouTube, we, and God, can watch them over and over and over.

Now, the greater Philadelphia region has the third highest concentrations of Irish descendants in the nation, so we have a lot of people who become fully Irish to abuse the day in honor of St. Patrick (and green beer). But St. Patrick wasn’t Irish. He was English, and yes he took on the English after he was banished to the Emerald Isle and saw how they were treated by the English ruling class.

Begorrah.

So St. Patrick is a hero to the Irish in that sense, but he’s a hero to the Irish and Irish wannabees in another, greater sense. You see, it was the persistence of the Irish Catholics and the capitulation of the Catholic Church that made St. Paddy’s Day the puke fest it is, and pretty much always was.

Begorrah.

St. Patrick’s Day falls in the middle of the Catholic observance of Lent, its six-week-or-so time of deprivation before Easter. Unlike nowadays, when eating meat is banned just on Fridays for observing Catholics during this time, back in the day there was no meat eating at any time during Lent. Drinking alcohol excessively is also normally frowned by the Catholic Church, but especially so during Lent.

Begorrah.

With food of a non-meat variety not overly abundant, the Irish weren’t too pleased to do without eating something of substance for six weeks. Starvation wasn’t the Catholic Church’s plan for the Irish (that would be for the English government to employ). Since the Church didn’t want to lose any adherents to the English Protestant religion, it agreed to break the rule of no meat during Lent--for the Irish only--on St. Patrick’s Day.

And the Irish pigged out. Often on pig. (And other things.)

Begorrah.

History records the day as one of extreme feasting and stuffing oneself to the gills, getting full and fat to last the remaining days of Lent. And, of course, the means of washing all that food down was…now don’t jump ahead here…beer. A lot of beer. Lots and lots of beer. A full day of food and beer, and more food and beer, and more beer, and more beer. Did I say more beer? And all that drinking led to a lot of sex--wanted, forced and indifferent--between a lot of unmarrieds, various swinging parties, and more than a few adulterous hook-ups. Orgy, anyone?

Begorrah.

Well, we know what happens eventually when too much of anything goes down the stomach. And so we have the origin of the St. Patrick’s Day Puke Fest. Courtesy of the Catholic Church. What we see in the U.S. on St. Patrick’s Day--with Irish descendants and Irish wannabees drinking green things no sensible sober person would drink, falling all over the place, talking with phony accents, relieving themselves on the streets if not right in their pants, and lying in their own and most likely others’ vomit--is not an aberration of the original celebration. If anything, it’s an exact replica of the original holiday.

St. Patrick’s Day is unlike any other “holiday.” It hasn’t evolved into something it's not, unlike the many others celebrated in this country. It is the one holiday true to its heritage, vomit and all. And for that reason, and that reason alone, I like St. Patrick’s Day.

Begorrah.