When a couple splits there are things to consider. If you only dated a short while and did not accumulate debt together, the breakup can be cut and dry. For those who have children and / or debt, things tend to get a little hairier.
Amazingly enough, I have had the pleasure of being the "first" in at least two relationships. That meant no "ex" to deal with. No baby-mama-drama, and no jilted woman who still wanted to maintain control over her former lover. Unfortunately, I've seen what a controlling ex does to people who have new relationships and wanted to point out some must do things to keep the peace.
Men and women are inherently different, thus making it difficult to indicate specific points pertaining to both parties collectively. For this case, as I've noticed, women have caused peril in her ex's new relationship. The following is helpful information for all parties involved.
1. Both parties must agree and adhere to boundaries set by one another, pertaining to your new lives. Most especially, if children are involved, adults tend to show territorial hierarchy instead of doing what's best for everyone involved.
2. Avoid allowing emotional hangups to determine how you treat your ex. When people break up, there are hard feelings. If you still have reasons to remain in contact, put your best effort forward to get along and get through life as best you can. If for no other reason, to show that you have dignity and that you're not some desperate person who has no life.
3. Avoid conflict. Accept that things did not work out between you two and do what is best to be civil when you must keep in contact. Save your petty fights for times when your children are not around. They've seen you fight enough, spare them further exposure to your conflicts.
4. Be a positive person in your ex's life, not a control freak. So your ex has someone new. Perhaps you should attempt to do the same. Usually when you live your life with good purpose, you won't care much about what your ex is doing anyway.
5. Avoid using your children to control someone else's life. Twice in the last week, I've witnessed ex wives who wreak havoc upon their ex husband's new life and love. How, you ask? They use their children to control as many aspects of her ex's life as possible. It's a waste of time and only causes negative emotions [and actions].
When adults are involved in situations that demand a diplomatic approach, I'm mostly appalled by situations I witness. Very simply, can't we all just get along? If not, stay the heck away from each other, period.
Comments