Recently I sat down with Dr. Linda Hawes Clever to discuss her extraordinary journey and release of The Fatigue Prescription; Four Steps to Renewing Your Energy, Health and Life (Viva Editions, February 2010).
Come hear Dr. Clever speak on February 19th at Book Passage in Corte Madera at 7:00 PM!
Brenda Knight: What do you mean by "fatigue"?
Linda Hawes Clever, MD: Fatigue is the feeling that you are running on empty but have no time to stop. It’s almost a numbness to your own exhaustion. In today’s world, especially for working mothers, it’s more common than people realize.
BK: What are some warning signs of fatigue?
LHC: There are dozens, so it’s important to know yourself and to be capable of checking in on your mental and emotional state. But, basically, fatigue shows 
itself in three ways: physical, emotional, and inter-personal.
Physical warning signs include headaches, backaches, sleeping disorders, short-term memory problems and eating issues.
Emotional warning signs can show up as irritability, grumpiness or feeling like you’re withdrawn or disengaged.
Finally, it can show up in your social world with relationships and work. Perhaps friends stop calling or everyone at work gets under your skin. Or perhaps you’ve had a loss of creativity or depletion of your critical thinking skills.
The key is to find the space to really check in and become aware of how 
you’re feeling physically, emotionally and in your relationships with others.
BK: Are you talking about balance?
LHC: Absolutely not. Balance is a temporary state. Overcoming fatigue requires something sturdier than balance. It’s about rediscovering your true self: your enthusiasm, your effectiveness, your core value system. It’s about getting back to a life that feels meaningful and is open to the possibility of joy.
BK: What is a “fatigue checkup"?
LHC: It’s about taking the time to examine how you are really feeling, not just in a fleeting moment but in a broader sense. It’s about listening to your body, your emotional self, examining your relationships, attitudes, and worldview. It’s about reconnecting to your core desires, understanding what you really want, including how you define “success.”
BK: What is the “Prescription”?
There are four steps: Awareness, reflection, conversation, and plan-and-act. It’s a step-by-step process.
BK: What do you mean by “conversation”? Why is it important?
LHC: None of us live in a vacuum. Our happiness and contentment are tied to our relationships – our partners, our kids, our co-workers, our friends. By listening to others we uncover a deeper understanding of ourselves, how others perceive us and how we perceive ourselves. Conversation is the active process of listening and sharing that leads to discovery.
BK: Why did you write the book?
LHC: About ten years ago the wheels just came off of my life. Within the span of 18 months my parents died, I lost two jobs, our house was burglarized, and my husband was diagnosed with cancer (he is fine now!). Instead of letting that experience wear me down, I saw it as an opportunity to really redefine my life and came up with the prescription, for myself. And it worked and I realized that it would work for others as well. As a doctor I believe in preventative medicine and this book is basically preventive medicine for the soul.
BK: Why is this book important?
LHC: Because each and every one of us is important! A lot of people depend on you, but in order to take care of them you have to take care of yourself. The book shows you how to beat fatigue so that you can be at your best for yourself and for everyone else in your life.
BK: Are there any quick fixes?
LHC: There are definitely some simple steps we can all take to help us out. For instance, taking little time-outs during the day to stretch, to smile, to listen to your heart. It’s important to believe that you are capable of having a better day. Believing that happiness is possible actually makes it possible. The key is to be proactive. Meaning isn’t going to sneak up on you. You have to go get it and you can.
BK: What do you do to refresh?
LHC: Reading, being with friends, exercise (I HATE to exercise, so I trick myself into it by going for walks with friends) or eating out with people I care about. Ensuring I get enough sleep. Traveling. And, of course, the occasional cookie.
BK: What are the common mistakes people make in regards to fatigue?
LHC: Not asking for help is the main one. This is particularly true of working mothers. Mothers can be so caught up in nurturing others that they forget to nurture themselves. Asking for help is very important whether it’s from friends, family, or co-workers. Most of us try to carry too great a burden. Admitting we’re not superheroes, that we’re just ordinary people is critical.
Second, and again this really applies to mothers, we have to remember that taking care of ourselves is not selfish. We won’t be able to be there for others (our kids, our partners, our clients or coworkers) if we can’t show up for ourselves.
BK: What happens if people don’t nurture themselves?
LHC: We stop fulfilling our commitments which leads to chronic frustration. We get crabby, mistake prone, underwhelmed, physically sick and out of shape, our relationships suffer, our communication skills deteriorate, and eventually we forget how to have fun, how to be joyful. It can be very debilitating.
BK: What are some specific techniques that people (and I’m thinking overworked mothers) can use to heal their fatigue?
LHC: Instead of going straight home from work take twenty minutes and go to a coffee shop or just sit in your car and read or breath or people watch. Just take a little time-out that’s free of worry or vexation.
Put important events for your kids or partner on your calendar the second you find out about them so that your schedule won’t fill up with work related things first and important family events second.
Play together with your kids. They say you can only be a kid once, but that’s not really true. If your kids are riding bikes, get yours out, if they’re skate boarding, put on some roller blades. Engage them on their terms, not yours.
Dr. Clever will be touring in the San Francisco Bay Area so be sure to attend an event near you! Visit www.TheFatiguePrescription.com for more information.
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