Grab a lifeline - not a bright shiny object!

Who do you trust with your success – or as author Keith Ferrazzi asks in his recent best-selling book “Who’s got your back?

Until recently, I used to roll my eyes when my colleagues would talk about having to consult their “board of directors” or “trusted advisors” or accountability partners” or “dream teams”?  What in the world were they talking about and why did they need such things? Couldn’t they make a decision on their own? 

Photo: Warren Talbot

Then after reading Ferrazzi’s book, I really got it – in the form of a related concept called “lifeline relationships”.  In his words, “the simplest, most complete definition of a lifeline relationship is someone who will never let you fail.” Okay, so now I was interested!

There are a few great examples of lifeline relationships in Weight Watchers and the various 12-step programs.  These groups work because peers come together to get the input and support they need to succeed, including accountability and candor.

Okay, so then where do you find these people?  I’ll save that for another post (unless you want to go buy Ferrazzi’s book and find out for yourself!) but he does suggest you only need three of these lifeline relationships to “change your life for the better.”  They will be the ones to encourage you, tell you things you might not want to hear, but ultimately they have your very best interests at heart.  And I was willing to sign up for that!

I’ve been unofficially creating these lifeline relationships over the past few months, when I was suddenly struck by the "bright shiny object syndrome." Yes, the BSO jumped out of nowhere and demanded my attention, right now. And all of a sudden, I realized why we need lifelines and I starting grabbing furiously for them to pull me to shore!

As background, I’ve been working on starting a new branch of my business over the past few months, to help food-related businesses increase their visibility and expand their client base using social media.  As a result, I’ve scaled back on my personal chef business – although in the spirit of full disclosure, I’d say the business was cutting back on me already, thanks to numerous issues in our economy!

So, I had some irons in the fire, as they say, and I was already setting up consultations with food companies.  And then the call came, from a local concierge looking for a private chef to work exclusively with a “high profile” client for an extended period (and good money!).  The temptation was there – a built-in regular client for months, reliable income, security (ha ha!), etc. and I actually spent a fair amount of time considering the proposition.

Then I got that funny little feeling in the pit of my stomach – you all know what I mean! This is where I often have taken the less-advantageous path in the past, and struggled to make a decision all alone – and usually regretted it later.  So this time, bright shiny object appears, and I’m ready!  Get me a lifeline on line two!

The end result is I consulted with a couple of my lifelines, and they helped talk through all the pros and cons of the situation, and suggested that I’d be delaying starting my new business (much more of a passion!) for several months while I continued to cook – which really looked pretty shortsighted once they laid out the cards for me.

And if I still had any doubt what to do, the Universe weighed in with this email affirmation that very same day (via Neale Donald Walsch!) – “Yearning for a new way will not produce it. Only ending the old way can do that. You cannot hold onto the old all the while declaring that you want something new. The old will defy the new; the old will deny the new; the old will decry the new. There is only one way to bring in the new. You must make room for it.”

So duh – I’m making room for it!

As Ferrazzi so wisely says, “reaching out for support is not about changing who you are. It’s about enlisting the help and advice of others to help you become who you can be.”  And I want to become a social media advisor for food companies – and my lifelines are there to support me and keep me on track, especially when the bright shiny object comes a’ calling!

To wrap it all up with a pretty bow, I declined the private chef gig - and that evening, I attended a food bloggers event (FoodPortunity), which was fantastic!  I met so many amazing companies, chefs, food writers and bloggers, and – drum roll please – I made my first two consultation appointments with two restaurants!  I made room for the new, and it arrived, right on time.

So I ask you – who’s got your back? Who are your three “lifeline” relationships?  Please leave me a comment below – I’d love to hear more!