Stop and think about this for a moment. The officiant is really the only service you need to get married yet somehow this is a detail that most couples spend very little time planning.
You’re planning your wedding day. You want it to be perfect. There are so many details to think about. Vendors to research, meet and hire. Details to coordinate. But what about the ceremony and who is going to officiate?
Brenda Owen, known locally as the Wedding Woman, is a Marriage Officiant and Ordained Minister who specializes in personal and memorable wedding ceremonies. Brenda recently shared with me, “There is a lot more to a couple’s wedding ceremony than the time spent together on the wedding day. I ask my couples questions designed to help me learn about them and their relationship when we first speak. “ Brenda emails each couple homework in the form of questions designed to help her learn even more about them and get the couple to think about, discuss and determine what they would like their ceremony to be like.
Brenda advises “there are optional elements that can be added to any ceremony and will add ‘a visual effect’ that helps your guests remember long after the ceremony.” Brenda gathers all of this information and writes out the ceremonies. She sends a copy about a month in advance for the couple to edit and approve.
Couples that belong to a church or synagogue have a small advantage since they already know who will be performing their service. For these couples trust and communication are key. Trust that your Officiant is an experienced professional and will perform a ceremony according to your wishes and the plans you have discussed. Ask questions, communicate your concerns and share your wishes with your Officiant to create the perfect personal service that reflects the two of you.
For couples searching for a Justice of the Peace or Notary Public the first step is to discuss the kind of person you are looking for. Determine whether you are looking for someone that presents an official or clerical image or do you want someone more informal. You should decide if you are looking for someone who will be formal or casual or fun and lighthearted.
Once you both have determined the type of person you are looking for start your research. Ask friends and other wedding professionals for referrals. View the web sites and read any materials that are available about each Officiant. Now call them on the phone and speak with them about your plans. You should feel comfortable with this person and assured that the Officiant will be a good fit. If you are still not sure ask for a meeting. During the consultation discuss your personalities, family traditions and any new traditions that you would like to include in your ceremony.
Keep in mind that although the ceremony may be the least expensive item in your wedding budget it is the most important part of the entire day. Your Officiant spends more time preparing before the ceremony than your guests see doing things such as planning meetings with you, responding to emails and phone calls from you, coordinating, preparing and rehearsing, and traveling.
Your cost will depend on the services you need and can vary from Officiant to Officiant. Use caution as this is a service where the “buyer should beware” because “you will get what you pay for” when selecting your Officiant. In some parts of the country the Officiant will charge anywhere from $225 to $375 for their services. Here in the Upstate couples can expect to pay from $125 to $275. Proceed with caution and go with your feelings if you are quoted less.
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