Yuri Malenchenko, married cosmonaut.
                      (See a bride? Neither did he.)

 A soldier deployed in Iraq emailed this weekend asking about the possibility of phone marriage with his fiancee.  Unfortunately phone marriages are not legal and not recognized by the U.S government; in almost every administration, a marriage license must be issued and a ceremony must be conducted with both parties physically present for the marriage to be valid.

There is a way to marry when one partner cannot be present however; proxy marriage is a procedure by which a proxy (a legally recognized stand-in for the absent party) is appointed, usually by the courts or a state's marriage license agency.  This proxy acts as the absent partner's representative in obtaining the marriage license and giving consent at the wedding ceremony.  Proxy marriage is only permitted in a few states (some of which limit proxy marriage to military personnel who are actively deployed.) 

One of the most famous examples of proxy marriage took place in Texas between a cosmonaut and his bride; a proxy stood in at the earthly wedding held at the NASA's Johnson Space Center, and the groom and his cosmonaut best man appeared via video link and played recessional music from orbit. 

Don’t try to obtain a proxy marriage if you’re trying to marry that overseas internet squeeze you’ve never met; these marriages won’t be recognized by Federal immigration authorities (and apparently Iowa won’t recognize your proxy marriage no matter how it was conducted.)  

Oddly, Montana--the only state which purportedly allows double proxy marriages, though there seems to be great confusion and reluctance about this matter--seems to have “rogue counties” that conduct double proxy marriages contrary to Montana's own current laws and revisions.  Seems some MT counties feel that an older law and loopholes in current marriage laws permit double proxies. However, due to the grey areas around these laws and practices, many MT counties will only conduct single proxies, where one party must be physically present to purchase the license. It’s unclear whether double proxy marriages would be upheld if challenged, so you should really check with a knowledgeable attorney before you get sweet-talked into paying for a potentially invalid marriage.  

Be careful dealing with any proxy marriage; there are agencies out there that offer to help you marry by proxy no matter what your situation, and often the legitimacy of your marriage can't be guaranteed.  This can be tempting, but it might be better to wait until a less questionable marriage can be undertaken.  Again, it’s really smart to check with an attorney to make sure your proxy marriage will be considered valid in your particular circumstances--particularly if immigration status or military benefits are at stake. 

As for those who qualify for proxy marriage to their deployed military partner, check with the county or state marriage license bureau where you'd like to apply for a proxy marriage.  They’ll let you know how to start the process of appointing a proxy; often the first step is a signed and notarized statement/power of attorney from the absent partner giving consent for the proxy marriage. 

Until next time, a sweet and long life to you all.   

National Wedding and Marriage Examiner Elizabeth Oakes welcomes your feedback at weddingexaminer@gmail.com; you can easily share this story or subscribe by clicking on the buttons at the top of this column, or read more of Elizabeth's stories by clicking here.

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All National Wedding Examiner articles ©2009 by Elizabeth Oakes; reposts permitted with link back to original article. All other rights reserved.

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