Brides beware! Wedding TV shows are mostly infomercials

          Not in the cards for me today, folks.

I confess: lies, deception, and prevarication--no matter how elegant the rhetoric--make me very grumpy.  Businesses that take advantage of the trusting nature of brides and grooms?  They make me hoppin’ mad.  

But people who tell me they’re going to make me a star and then stick me with a bill for their marketing services.....grr, and double-dog grr! They’ve inspired a new series of columns, called “Brides Beware!”

Here’s the story:

Got a call today from a nameless “lifestyle awareness” program and the pitch ran thusly:  “We produce a popular television show here in Los Angeles for local-affiliate-station-that-shall-remain-nameless, and we’ve heard a lot about you!  We have a wedding episode coming up and we’re very interested in talking to you because your business is unique and could possibly become a feature segment on our show.”  

The credulous part of my brain thought, “Really?  Wow! Free airtime! Boy, I could really go places with coverage like that!!”   But, having spent some time in the wedding biz, the sensible part of my brain had an inkling that the terms were yet to be disclosed.  Wanna guess which hemisphere had it right?

“We do a ‘Best of the Best’ show about local wedding businesses” the guy continued (that’s what he said--best of the best! and about me! Gosh, I’m honored.)

But whoa Nellie! This “Best of the Best” designation would only set me back $2800, the guy said.  Of course, I would receive a copy of the 3-5 minute feature segment to use in my media packet as part of the deal, AND I was on the “short list” of vendors who were being offered this fabulous Best-Of status, so the production company might even be willing to cut me a deal on the price.  

Oh, Prunella!  So much for my Emmy nomination.

As cynical and exploitative as it may seem, wedding media companies are calmly targeting you, an engaged person, by producing “features” pretending to be local news or gotta-have product recommendations or, yes, “Best Of” lists.  Most are nothing more than slickly-produced infomercials--oh, excuse me, sponsor-driven programming.  Though they claim to offer you a selection of wedding services based on merit, they are merely churning out high-production advertising and sliding it right under your nose.   Hmm, not unlike Ralphie and his LIttle Orphan Annie decoder ring, or the lists offered by some wedding venues under the guise of “Preferred Vendor” referrals.

Nope; it’s cash on the barrelhead son, and wahoooo!!!  You’re the Best of the Best, and they’ll say so on TV!!  Is this a great country or what?

Now, to be fair: wedding businesses need to advertise.  But they also need to be square with you about it--ads should clearly be labeled as ads, not news reports.  An ethical business doesn’t dupe the public into believing they’ve received enthusiastic media attention due to a fair and balanced performance assessment.  The catchphrases “Best of the Best” and “Preferred Vendor” are supposed to make you think providers have been vetted for quality, but the truth is the only quality required is the ability to write a check.  

So brides beware! Don’t take everything you see on TV or read in wedding magazines at face value.  Of course you knew that, it's just that when you’re starry-eyed with excitement about your impending wedding you might not see the white tulle being pulled over your eyes.

It’s not that you can’t consider booking these vendors if you like what you see.  Just be aware that you’ll need to verify the superiority of their services for yourself--and that their prices will probably be higher than other vendors, given that they’re paying for pricier adverts and those costs are passed along to you.  It’s always smart to seek independent referrals, references, and recommends from people you know in addition to any media information you receive; your own research and good sense should be your guide....a far better guide than the mediated ones being offered to you under dubious pretenses.

Until next time, the best of the best to you all.

Elizabeth Oakes welcomes feedback at weddingexaminer@gmail.com; you can share this story or subscribe to this column by clicking on the buttons below.

She's also happy to answer your questions about getting married in Los Angeles; you can check out her work and inquire about availability at MarriageToGo.Com.