A fictional day in the life of Warren Buffett

AP photo of Warren Buffett

The following is a fictional day in the life of Warren Buffett, written to illustrate the broad reach and diversity of his company, Berkshire Hathaway. Every product mentioned in this story is made/serviced either by a Berkshire operating unit or a company that Berkshire has a large stake in. See the bottom of the story for information on how to submit your own "A fictional day in the life of Warren Buffett" tale for publication on this site.

Warren Buffett awoke with a throb in his head and an ache in his stomach, and the memories of the day before came rushing back.

Rather than pay a mover to pick up the new reading chair he'd bought the day before at the Nebraska Furniture Mart, Buffett had decided to save a few bucks and pick it up himself. He'd swung by the store in his new BYD plug-in hybrid automobile, which he'd last gassed up at a Conoco station months ago. A couple of strong lads at the store loaded up the chair, and Buffett cruised back to his Omaha home.

Buffett got the chair inside easily enough. But as he was hauling it up to his study, Buffett slipped on an empty box of See's Candies and dropped the chair. He hit his head on the railing, and the chair crashed through the Sheetrock. Buffett was fine; the chair and wallboard were not.

"This will make it a lot harder to sell my house now," Buffett thought, recalling that he had planned to call his favorite Realtor with Home Services of America the next day about the possibility. He was glad that the chair hadn't broken through the exterior of the home, which was made out of Acme bricks. He figured the wallboard could be repaired easily enough, and a little Benjamin Moore paint would make it good as new. And maybe next time he'd just rent a chair from CORT and have it delivered.

Buffett took a Tylenol to make his head feel better, washing it down with his ninth Cherry Coke of the day. He nibbled on a few Oreo cookies before deciding to make himself feel better with a trip to the local Dairy Queen. He slipped on his Tony Lama boots and a new Fruit of the Loom T-shirt, and off he went.

He stopped off at Borsheims to get his wife a new necklace, which he thought should make up for the gaping hole in the wall and the splintered chair in the front hall. He stopped off at the Wells Fargo ATM to get some cash, but it was out of order. So he hit the U.S. Bank ATM instead, and then off to Dairy Queen he went for an extra-large Blizzard of the Month -- which he decided to charge with his American Express card to earn points toward a free flight. The Blizzard was so yummy that he ordered another one. He then drove home, chewing on some Wrigley gum.

Waking up in his bed the next morning, Buffett wished he hadn't had that second Blizzard. He popped a couple of Pepto-Bismol and went downstairs to read the Buffalo News and Washington Post. Feeling better, Buffett fired up his stove, which was heated by natural gas from MidAmerican Energy Co. The McLane Co. had delivered some fresh eggs to his home before continuing down the road, and Buffett decided to make an omelette in his new frying pan from The Pampered Chef.

As he was eating, a piece of bacon fell onto the new Shaw carpet. Buffett decided that he needed to get out of the house before he messed up everything, so he decided to take a little vacation and clear his head. He read about some possible destinations in his World Book encyclopedia and finally decided on Jackson Hole, Wyoming. He put out a press release on Business Wire that he'd be gone for a few days, packed up and left.

Buffett headed out for the trip in his new RV he'd bought at Forest River. But about halfway to Jackson Hole, Buffett ran off the road and into a telephone poll. He was fine, and he was glad he'd insured the RV with GEICO. But now he had to figure out some way to get back to Omaha. He thought about hopping onto a train operated by Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railway, but then thought better of it. He walked over to a Clayton Homes residence a half-mile off the road and used the telephone of the nice couple living there.

Within minutes a NetJets pilot was there to pick up Buffett, who tried to get the man to let him fly the plane. "You see I've taken lessons at FlightSafety International," Buffett said. But the pilot wouldn't hear of it, delivering Buffett safely at the Eppley Airfield and calling a driver to take the Oracle back to work, where he obviously belonged.

Now it's your turn. Send me your version of "A fictional day in the life of Warren Buffett" to my e-mail address of freehling@hotmail.com. The tale should incorporate Berkshire-related businesses but doesn't have to include the same ones as mentioned here (I only hit a minority of them). Put "Buffett Fictional Day" in the subject line. Send me your name and city/state/country of residence (unless you want to stay anonymous, which is OK). I will publish good submissions on this site. Feel free to send me 1-3 photos to illustrate your story.