Only a handful of punk rock Christmas songs exist, most of them singles like the Alan Milman Sect's "Punk Rock Christmas" and FEAR's unforgettable "F*** Christmas." There are only a few scattered highlights: The Ramones "Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight)" was a highpoint of the "Brain Drain" album and Rhino Records released "Punk Rock Christmas," an entertaining but uneven compilation of X-mas songs in 1995. But when it came to delivering a full length record of irreverent Christmas songs, the gold medal must go to England's The Yobs.
Released in 1980 on Safari Records, "The Yobs Christmas Album" was a holiday themed joke LP created by pop-punk masters The Boys ('Yobs' is 'Boys' spelled backward in case you hadn't already figured that out). Like the Vibrators before them, the Boys were sneered at as nancy-boy pop posers by punk rock purists until the Powerpearls compilations of the late nineties introduced power pop to a new generation of punk enthusiasts. Of course, as the widespread Get Back reissues of their four hard-to-find albums proved, The Boys were a tight-as-nails, kick-out-the-jams rock n' roll outfit that unleashed some scorching classics, such as the supremely snotty "Sick On You."
But as The Yobs the Boys let it all hang out. Much more scabrous than their serious output, the album features punked-up versions of "White Christmas," "Silent Night," "Silver Bells," and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," plus cheeky originals like "Rub-A-Dum Dum," "The Ballad of the Warrington" and "C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S." Their version of "Twelve Days of Christmas" is too foul-mouthed to be quoted here, but these lyrics from "Another Christmas" give you an idea of the level of The Yobs discourse:
Here we go
It's Christmas once again
I don't think I can make it
What a shame
I can't forget your lousy homemade wine
I won't be drinking that a second time
I don't think I can make it
I don't think I can take it
Another Christmas day with you"
"Jingle Bells" is a face melting new wave version of the classic carol and "Silent Night" is retooled as an anti-fascist play on lyrics with "Crystalnacht." There are lots of chimes, lots of jubilant choruses, fake accents and plenty of punk rock mayhem. The vinyl versions, both the original and the reissue on Great Expectations Records in 1989, can be hard to track down, but the CD version is still readily available. If you've grown weary of the usual holiday dreck that oozes out of most speakers this time of year, offer The Yobs a chance to jingle your bells.
To sample the holiday magic give this enterprising (and odd) combination of a Tom and Jerry cartoon and The Yobs "Another Christmas" a spin:
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