Tricks are for gifts when giving them abroad

I stopped by my local food emporium three times this week to pick up little tins of chocolate to take on my next trip to Tokyo. The reason I didn't get all of the candies at once is because my obligations to various colleagues in Japan grew as my itinerary progressed. So, as those numbers rose, I needed to bring along a token of appreciation for everyone involved.  

From past experience, I knew that in Japan, giving gifts is good but that said gifts should be given to each and every person with whom you meet on a personal and/or professional level.  Also, that gift should be neither any better than nor any lesser than any other you have to offer.  

Translation: Give the same gift to everyone and make sure you have enough to go around.

Hence, my repeat visits to the grocery store.  

Alas, I learned this lesson the hard way.

Years ago, I was visiting Tokyo and decided to take along some copies of a guidebook I had recently authored.  I took four since that's all my suitcase could handle.  But when it came time to present my presents, I didn't have enough to go around and not knowing any better I made the decision to give the four missives to the top four honchos in the room.  

Bad move.

Doing this made everyone lose face -- and that includes me, the worst offender of all.  After such a serious cultural faux pas that sat squarely in my hands, I vowed never to fall into that trap again.

To be sure, while gift giving is tricky in Tokyo and elsewhere in Japan, it is equally as difficult to get right in other Asian outposts unless you learn the appropriate custom.  

That said, following are some ways in which to give the right gift without suffering any grief:

+  In Korea: The approach to giving gifts in this Asian country is the opposite of what is expected in Japan. In Seoul and other areas of South Korea, it is appropriate to give the best present to the top executive in the room.  You should give something to everyone, but be sure the other gifts you present are worth less than that initial gift. If this is confusing, forget the whole concept and instead, give a single gift (say a basket of fruit or a big box of chocolates) to your business associates as a whole.

+  In China:  Don’t be put off if you are turned down after offering a colleague a gift.  And, when you try again, don’t be put off when you are turned down once more.  Instead, try a third time as that’s the charm in China where it is important that you continue to extend the offer multiple times before it is culturally acceptable to accept. You should do the same if you are offered a present from your Chinese colleague because if you don’t wait until the third offer you will be seen as being a covetous person, and, especially in the Chinese culture, that’s not good.

+   In Singapore: Giving a good gift is important but whether or not you pick the right thing isn’t of utmost concern.  What is paramount is understanding that whatever your wrapped present consists of it is not going to be revealed in front of company.  As the recipient, your Singaporean counterpart will accept the present with a word of “thanks” and then he or she will set the gift aside to open it up in private. That way makes good sense since you will never be judged on what you have chosen and the person accepting will never come off as being greedy or too eager to get a gift in the first place.

+   In Indonesia:  When you meet for the first time with an Indonesian cohort, be sure to have a present ready but make sure it is not substantial. Indeed, little gifts make a big splash in this Asian country where giving something is one small way of showing you are interested in developing a long term relationship based on both sincerity and trust.