Shocking! Getting used to another country can be challenging

Culture shock is surreptitious.

It shows up in the most unusual ways at  the most unexpected times. Sometimes you'll be unable to sleep while other times you'll need to sleep far too much. You may go from angry to  vulnerable in a nanosecond for no apparent reason and you may even wish  you were anywhere but where you happen to be.

But, if you hang in there, those effects will surely fade.

Consider the case of one expatriate.

Out of work and having trouble finding any in the Los Angeles area,  Heidi decided to look elsewhere. As a television executive, this  transplanted Pennsylvanian had made Hollywood a happy home for nearly a  decade. Still, in order to pursue her chosen profession, she was  willing to relocate.

That she did — about 8,000 miles away in Melbourne, Australia.

When the two-year contract came through, Heidi had to move quickly. She  was given a mere month to get there and find her bearings before  reporting to her new job.

The task seemed insurmountable. My friend had to rent her home, store  the bulk of her possessions, and find a place to live in Melbourne all  in the space of 30 days. Always up for a good challenge, this  goal-oriented woman did it, but not without consequences.

Shortly after she arrived in Australia, culture shock hit Heidi hard.  Though a seasoned traveler, this was the first time she had ever lived in another country. Despite the fact that she was extremely excited  about the dramatic move, Heidi suffered a lot of classic symptoms. She  felt alternately angry and sad, unhappy and moody, anxious and  frustrated.

"It's like perpetual PMS," Heidi told me at the time. "My feelings are all over the place."

I could identify, having done my time in the land of culture shock while working in Hong Kong on a three-year assignment. As living proof, I told her she would get over this phase of the transition. To that end, I offered what I had learned during my stay away from home.

1. Expect to experience a roller coaster of emotions, keeping in the  back of your mind the knowledge that this discomfort will not last  forever. Realize from the get-go that at times during the start of your  stay, you might experience everything from being overwhelmed to being  totally disoriented. Also realize that this too shall pass.

2. You might find yourself feeling physically ill when you first make  your move to another country on another continent. For about four weeks  I had all the symptoms of the flu without the fever. Worried, I went to  a Canadian doctor working in Hong Kong and he told me that I had "Hong  Kong Lurgy. It's a malaise almost all of us ex-pats have to go through  before we acclimate." Not fun, but not insurmountable, either.

3. Small tasks might seem unreasonably formidable at first, but take  each in stride and try to delegate until you feel ready to take on whatever comes your way. For instance, if you need to pick the perfect  place for a power meal, but you don't know the lay of the land yet, ask  for help from a co-worker who does. If you are having trouble finding  an expedient route to work, ask a local to show you the ropes.

4. Keep up ties with the folks back home. E-mail your best friend every day, write a real letter in your own handwriting to your mother once a  week, send a fax to a former colleague every once in a while. Sending  and receiving news back from those who care should help shake off some  of the culture-shock blues.

5. Look for moral support in your current situation. Pursue a friendship  with someone of your own nationality who has been there longer. This  will likely be the best person with which to commiserate because  she has probably experienced at least some of what you are  experiencing.

6. Make sure to take the time to do something fun that has nothing to do with your job. Join a gym, take up golf, or try a ceramics class.

7. Do whatever you can to learn your new country's native tongue, but  don't expect to be fluent or to catch all the nuances of the new language. To buoy your confidence, take classes after work, and when you need to attend a meeting that won't be conducted completely in  English, take along a bilingual colleague to translate if you get in a jam.

If you can't stand taking classes then hire a tutor. When I lived in Hong Kong I paid someone to take me out three times a week to lunch, to sightsee, to go shopping. The only hitch was we had to communicate in Cantonese the entire time we were out. It was not only fun but also educational. Before long I was able to have a simple conversation in the native tongue with just about anyone who would talk to me.

8. Travel. Make it a point to learn about the country in which you have relocated by seeing more of it than just the city to which you were assigned. Go on day trips. Go on weekend trips. Go somewhere new each time you have any vacation time.

9. Make friends, not only from within the expat community, but from within the community at large. Drink in the culture by being part of it, not by looking at it from the sidelines.

10. Do all you can to assimilate, but always embrace the fact that you are an American. Share your culture with your new acquaintances as they share theirs with you. This will not only help the transition, but it will make it more memorable as well.