Egg on your face, and that's no joke when told in the wrong country

I consider myself a person with a good sense of humor but that doesn't mean I can tell an effective joke. In fact, when I do I fall flat.  I either reveal the punch line too early or I forget what it is by the time I am supposed to tell it, leaving me without the desired effect:  laughter.

Maybe that's a good thing.

Or to clarify: Maybe that's a good thing when cavorting with colleagues and friends from other countries.

Take the time I was in Acapulco when my husband decided to tell a joke to a friendly retailer who was game to try to understand. His English wasn't perfect but it was much better than my beau's Spanish.  

So, my traveling partner tried to communicate what I call a drum-roll joke, that kind of clean humor best shared with a kindergarten kid.

The sad part is he persisted with this full-grown Mexican man.

 "Hey," said my hubby.  "Want to see my imitation of a duck?"

Since there was silence from his audience, my other half persisted by swooping his head down to pretend to avoid an object that was supposedly coming toward him.  

Translation:  He was "ducking."

Ba rumb bump.

I giggled despite myself but the man in the shop was simply horrified.  Another person in our party decided to tell him the joke in Spanish and after his version of a "duck," the shocked man suddenly turned happy, laughing at the top of his lungs.

After a quick exchange, we were told what caused the change of attitude.

According to our Spanish-speaking colleague, it was not the acting out but rather the word "duck" that tripped him up. Apparently, this nice Mexican man thought our joke-teller was trying to show him his version of a sexual act as he had thought he heard an "f" for the first letter of "duck" instead of a "d."

And so it goes.  

Telling American jokes to people who aren't American can often mean trekking down a slippery slope.  With that in mind while keeping your sense of humor during your travels, consider the following:

+  Never, ever, tell a joke that has anything to do with religion or politics as there is no way these kinds of stories will translate well.

+  If you want to try to tell a story that has a permissible punch line, do so with care by avoiding idioms, slang, euphemisms, double entendres, acronyms and sports analogies.

+  Use short, simple words. In others words, avoid proving you possess an extensive vocabulary since that fact will likely be lost on a person who is tentative about speaking English in the first place.

+  Speak clearly, at a slow pace and with pure enuciation.  In other words, don't try your best Rocky Balboa imitation Even though I am from New York and not Philadelphia (Rocky's home town), I have been told many times to take it down a notch wherever I am traveling.  This happens even when the destination is a place where English happens to be the first language.  The reason I fail is because I tend to try to get everything said in a single breath and that just doesn't fly in, say, London or Perth, let alone Prague or Dubai.

+  If you sense you are causing confusion, then you probably are.  When that happens, stop and retell your story using different words in a different way.  If that doesn't work, end the diatribe altogether by offering a very short apology for not being able to make yourself understood.