Upon beginning the Sacramento Transgender Issues column, the author has generated much discussion with her local cisgendered [i.e. non-transsexual/transgender] friends. Of these discussions, however, one especially bears mention, and that is in the case of a cisgendered individual dating a trans-person. Unfortunately, most are unaware of trans-realities, and thus, it is crucial they familiarize themselves if contemplating starting such a relationship. Whilst a broad topic indeed, this essay shall focus on the cisgendered individual’s confusion over her/his orientation upon dating a trans-person.

First and foremost, cisgendered peoeple must be made aware of the fact that transgenderism/transsexuality are more than mere life choices. Instead, they are gifts inherited through genes and other biological factors. As a rule of thumb, an individual's gender identity varies person by person, and before making an assumption, the cisgendered man or woman must ask the trans-individual how he or she identifies.

Second, in the case of the author who is a non-op transsexual—non-op meaning she does not wish surgery—her gender identity is female. Living fulltime as a woman, she has seen herself as female, both inside and out, ever since she can recall. All those attracted to her are attracted to her femininity and nothing else. In any case, those who cannot come to terms with the individual’s gender identity, have no right dating trans-people.

Third, in the case of a cisgendered woman dating a trans-woman, that would of course be a lesbian relationship, and in the case of a cisgendered woman dating a trans-man, that would of course be a heterosexual relationship, so on and so forth. In short, it is very simple, and in all cases, it is the individual’s gender identity that determines the orientation of the relationship.

Last but not least, those dating a trans-person need not spout out the news. When in doubt, put the circumstances into perspective. Because readers would not tell the world that an Asian woman served them food, why would they tell the world that they you were dating a trans-person? Trans-people, in short, are not objects to be shared, but instead, must be respected as the worthwhile human beings that they are.