Last night, whilst attending a local support group in Sacramento’s Lavender Heights, a good deal of valid issues came to the forefront. The one that struck the author most, however, was the thing on family and the endless bond one usually feels with them. So often one is told, that it is a duty to keep the family ties, but then alas, when does this rule go too far? In the defense of boundaries, when does the family loyalty card wear itself out? What this essay will attempt to do is validate the trans-individuals who wish to leave the family circuit.

First and foremost, trans-life is stressful enough without the addition of society and the family nucleus. Not only do trans-people struggle for outside acceptance, but also, they typically struggle to find the acceptance within. This dysphoria is often so far reaching that the trans-individual often struggles with self-harm and suicide. Taking these facts into account, it is the author’s opinion that a hostile family will only make life worse, and in such a case, cutting cords is entirely acceptable.

Unfortunately, there is much the author failed to say last night, but then again, these thoughts have only formed in the past 15 hours. Whilst it is crucial to find support and an extended family, blood relations are not always the answer. In fact, many of the author’s friends have claimed the family cord cutting to make all the difference. Once the family was taken out of the mix, an unspeakable weight was lifted.

As for the author, she has cut cords with a number of those outside the nucleus and feels absolutely no regret. These cords she chose to cut, were those who made her transition a burden. If she had not done so, she might not be here today. Whilst many might label this the easy way out, the author would instead, claim family cord cutting to be the toughest challenge. No matter how unhealthy and useless a family relationship may be, one typically feels guilt for moving on. Cutting the cords does not equal a loss of love, but rather, the regeneration of lost strength. In the end, unhealthy relationships are brought to naught, and if the individual has a duty, it is to do that which is healthy and humanistic. Dare to be different! Dare to leave the comfort zone by cutting unhealthy cords!