Photo by Beth K. Vogt
Parents, don’t be surprised when your child is exposed to online pornography.
Despite federal laws making it illegal for anyone younger than 18 to view pornography, the largest group of viewers of online pornography is children ages 12 to 17.
Cris Clapp Logan, communications director at Enough is Enough, a national organization dedicated to making the Internet safe for children and families, explained the cyber-disconnect.
“No federal laws have been enforced online. The courts decided to go with what is the least restrictive to free speech, saying the legislation is too heavy a burden to enforce,” Logan said. “The burden is being carried by our children and what is happening to their emotional health when they’re exposed to pornography.”
“Whenever I talk to a group of 4th and 5th graders, I tell the teachers and parents I’m not going to shock the kids,” she said. “When I talk about the scary people and scary stuff online, the kids know what I’m talking about.”
One girl told Logan about going online to make an e-card for a boy she liked. The girl knew the boy liked lizards, so she typed the word “reptile” into Google. One of the first links took the girl to a site filled with photos of graphic sexual acts with lizards.
Many parents don’t understand what is available on the Internet, Logan said.
“They think online pornography is just like the Playboys they discovered years ago hidden under the bed,” she said. “Online porn is graphic, obscene. There’s urination porn and snuff porn. YouTube has user-generated porn.”
Because of the addictive nature of pornography, once elementary or middle school children are exposed to pornography, they often become customers for life, Logan said.
“Porn is such a strong addiction to break. It’s being called the drug of the new millennium,” Logan explained, adding that treating someone with a porn addiction is similar to treating a cocaine addict.
Mary Anne Layden, co-director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for Cognitive Therapy, called pornography an “equal opportunity toxin,” during a U.S. Senate hearing on pornography in 2004.
“(Pornography) is toxic mis-education about sex and relationships,” Logan said. “It is more toxic the more you consume, the "harder" the variety you consume, and the younger and more vulnerable the consumer.”
Logan agrees that the messages sent to boys and girls about sexuality in porn are hurtful to them.
“Girls who look at porn think they have to look like (a porn star),” she said, “and guys think they have to act like that. It’s all about performance. It’s not about a trusted, safe, mature relationship.”
So what can parents do to protect their children against online pornography?
Logan advises parents not to overreact when they discover their child has viewed porn. Parents also need to be proactive, she said. Kids are more likely to be safe online if their parents sit down and talk to them about Internet dangers and safety.
“(Marriage and family therapist) Jill C. Manning says parents have got to stop thinking of sex as a one-time conversation about the birds and the bees,” Logan said. “Kids are encountering sex online all the time.”
“It’s our desire that all children have a protected age of innocence, and that they learn about sex in an appropriate fashion, not be ambushed by horrific images,” Logan said.
Coming on Friday: Part 2 of my interview with Cris Clapp Logan, communications director at Enough is Enough. Learn practical ways to protect your child online.
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