College-bound: Preparing you and your child for freshman year

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There’s a lot to think about when your child heads off to college. You walk a parental tightrope, balancing between encouraging independence and wanting to tack a list of dos and don’ts on your kid's dorm room wall.

What are some practical ways to help your child start his first year of college with confidence?

1. Talk, talk, talk—“Openly discuss any concerns or fears your child has before leaving for college,” suggests Marylene Cloitre, Ph.D. and Demy Kamboukos, Ph.D. in their article, “Making the Transition to College: A Guide for Parents.”

2. Be proactive—Help your child be ready for an emergency. Create a list of emergency contacts and nearby supports, including the university counseling service, campus security, and health services phone numbers. Are there family members or friends who live close to the college campus who would be emergency contacts?

3. Strike a healthy balance—Let your child know you’re available to help, but then encourage self-reliance and independence. “It is important that college students handle some important decisions on their own, such as choosing a major and social activities,” Cloitre and Kamboukos suggested.

4. Allow for mistakes—“Both the college student and the parents must realize mistakes will be made along the way—it’s called life experience,” advises the staff of the NYU Child Study Center. “Learning from mistakes is another type of learning.”

5. Plan for some adjustments—Thanksgiving and Christmas break may seem a long way off now. But it’s not too soon to realize that things will be different when your child comes back home. “Students will be accustomed to a different schedule, a different social life, and more freedom to come and go,” explains an online resource from Western Washington University’s Counseling Center. If you can't think about this reality right now, tuck #5 into your back pocket for down the road.

Checklist: What your child needs to know before arriving on a college campus:

1. How to write a check and balance a checkbook
2. How to use a credit card wisely
3. How to budget
4. How to do laundry
5. The importance of personal hygiene
6. The need to lock their doors
7. How to be assertive in communicating
8. How to be responsible consumers of their education

For more info: 

Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years

I'll Miss You Too: An Off-to-College Guide for Parents and Students

Letting Go: A Parent's Guide to Understanding the College Years