You've got to forgive them, and then forgive yourself.

Yes, you do have to do it. You have to forgive them for what they did. You have to forgive every person who ever hurt you by: not calling, not loving you back, not seeing what a catch you are, not giving you the affection you needed, not giving you the praise you deserved, not appreciating you, not being compassionate to your needs, getting married after telling you they had a problem with commitment, having a baby with someone else behind your back, wrecking your credit, wrecking your car, dating 5 other women while dating you, sleeping with your cousin, forgetting to mention they were married, not giving you the promotion you deserved when the relationship failed, cheating on you, flirting with your sister, lying to you, molesting you, betraying you, using their kids to try and get you back, manipulating you, putting their hands on you, calling you “out your name”. To sum it all up, let’s remember how Helen said in Tyler Perry’s Diary of a Mad Black Woman “I’m mad as hell”.

Now that you’re good and fed up with the things “they” did, it’s time to take a deep breath, then exhale and say wholeheartedly “I forgive them all. It’s vital to my health, happiness and longevity that I let this go. I survived. If they can live with it, I can live with it. I wish them all peace, love, and happiness”.
Look that over again and say it out-loud. In order for you to have health, happiness and longevity, you can’t be carrying around all that anger, sadness, and despair. How long can you carry that with you and think that it’s not going to poison you from the inside out? Wouldn’t you like to take some of your power back and get it all off your chest? It’s time to be the one with the power by letting it go. Have you seen My Life with Michael Keaton? Great movie. http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3332047129/

Think about this, the longer you stay mad at something someone else did, you are still carrying around a lit torch of anger, frustration, anxiety that is only hurting you. That person has gone on about their life, and you can best believe that they are not shedding a single tear for your hurt feelings. They are moving on with their lives, and at some point, you’ve got to be wise enough to do the same. “People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.” Bill Cosby

By letting go, you send a message to God, your family, your friends, the whole Universe that you only have room for peace, love, and happiness in your life. That you don’t have room for anger, resentment, and vindictiveness anymore. Now think about this. The reason that you get so mad, so bitter and upset is because at some point, the person actually may have meant something to you. We don’t usually get cut by those who don’t matter. The deepest cuts to our hearts and our egos usually come from those we have loved. I was privileged once to hear Iyanla Vanzant speak at an event when I was 24 years old, and she said “Unless you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed”. http://http://www.councilforrelationships.org/therapy/individual.shtml

You’ve got to forgive them, and then forgive yourself. Have your last cry, write out all of your feelings in a journal, drink a martini, and with that last sip, let it all go. If they, and all the bad feelings you have about them, are both out of your system for good, you can start living again. Getting rid of the cobwebs and clutter of emotional baggage from your past is how you make room for a loving, happy future. You have to create a space in your heart if you expect the right love to come. Forgive them, and then forgive yourself. You’re worth it!