There are definitely signs that a guy has the potential to become violent or could be emotionally abusive. Knowing these signs could help you help your daughter if she ends up in an abusive relationship.
Please Note: Due to the majority of victims being young women and the perpetrators being young men, the following pages will use the applicable pronouns. This is not to say that men are not victims and women are not abusers. This is simply the reported statistical difference. Women are more often the victim and men are more often the perpetrator.
Behaviors that indicate your daughter’s boyfriend may be abusive:
- He texts 20 or 30 times an hour (keeping tabs on her)
- He is extremely jealous
- They got hot and heavy really quickly
- He has an explosive temper
- He has mood swings
- He indulges in drugs &/or alcohol
- He doesn’t like to be around adults / parents
- He doesn’t like your daughter to be around adults / parents
- He says negative things about adults / parents
- He convinces your daughter of negative things about adults / parents
- Verbally abusive – puts your daughter down either in private or, worse, in public, even if it is done as a “joke”
- Blames other people (your daughter) for his feelings and actions
- Has a history of being abusive toward girlfriends
- Seems to be a Dr. Jekyl / Mr. Hyde
The truly cunning (and most dangerous) boyfriends will be the ones who are super nice, super supportive and seemingly super loving toward your daughter. But in the pit of your stomach will be a feeling that he just isn’t genuine. You will see flashes of his nastiness – a look in his eyes when you challenge him, an outburst (read: temper tantrum) when anyone challenges him, a put down that he veils as sarcasm or a “joke.” And just because he has never been violent before, doesn’t mean he can’t become violent. Every abuser has a first violent episode. If you believe your daughter is in an abusive relationship, do whatever you need to do to make sure she is not on the receiving end of his violent outbursts.
Please return to the list for more indicators that your teenager is being abused.
If you found this article helpful, please see information on jealousy, the link between animal cruelty and violence toward people and tips for breaking off an unhealthy relationship.
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