Signs of abuse -
Dating Violence
While teenagers want to hide things from parents, there are violence indicators – signs your teenager is being abused. These signs may be subtle or they may be obvious. Often parents notice some of these signals and don’t equate them with their daughter being in a violent relationship. Knowing the indicators can greatly increase your ability to help your teenager get out of an abusive relationship.
Please Note: Due to the majority of victims being young women and the perpetrators being young men, the following pages will use the applicable pronouns. This is not to say that men are not victims and women are not abusers. This is simply the reported statistical difference. Women are more often the victim and men are more often the perpetrator.
Signs your daughter may be in a violent or controlling relationship:
- She won’t make decisions / plans without first checking with her boyfriend
- She receives texts constantly when she is not with her boyfriend
- Her grades are getting worse
- She is skipping school
- Her moods are erratic or there has been a considerable change in her moods / personality
- The slightest thing will set her off
- She’s using drugs, alcohol or tobacco when she doesn’t have a prior history
- She is isolating from friends and family
- She has bruises, scratches or cuts that she quickly explains away with a lame or implausible excuse
The majority of abuse takes place in either of the partner’s homes. Typically, abusive and controlling boyfriends will insist that your daughter can only spend time at his house. Being in your home significantly hampers his ability to be abusive and controlling, and increases the chances his behavior will be revealed and challenged. If you notice your daughter and her boyfriend never spend time in your home (or only spend time there when no one else is home), encourage her / them to come around when you are home. Be vocal about making the invitations. If it doesn’t happen, this is also a strong indicator that something may be wrong in the relationship.
Please return to the list for more indicators that your teenager is being abused.
If you found this article helpful, please see information on jealousy, the link between animal cruelty and violence toward people and tips for breaking off an unhealthy relationship.
Comments