Young men who are abusers typically have some violence indicators in their personality. If you spend a little bit of time with your daughter’s boyfriend, you will get an impression of how he feels about himself and about relationships in general. This information can be vital in determining whether your daughter is in an abusive relationship or not.
Please Note: Due to the majority of victims being young women and the perpetrators being young men, the following pages will use the applicable pronouns. This is not to say that men are not victims and women are not abusers. This is simply the reported statistical difference. Women are more often the victim and men are more often the perpetrator.
Abusive men believe:
- It is not possible to be raped when you’re in a relationship
- No means yes
- Keeping constant contact with his girlfriend is just showing her how much he loves and is interested in her (as opposed to the reality – it’s controlling)
- Girlfriends (and women in general) are property – men own or possess women (women do not deserve respect)
- He has a right to control his girlfriend – tell her what to do, what to wear, how to act, where to go, who to talk to, who not to talk to
- Being a man means being physically aggressive
- He has a right to be intimate whenever and however he wants
- A girlfriend is obligated to please her boyfriend (usually sexually)
- Other guys won’t respect him if he is supportive and loving toward his girlfriend
- He does not have to be accountable for any behavior (whether it has to do with a girlfriend or not)
Please return to the list for more indicators that your teenager is being abused.
If you found this article helpful, please see more information on jealousy, the link between animal cruelty and violence toward people and tips for breaking off an unhealthy relationship.
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